Separated at Birth HaHAhahahHahahahaha

REALLY?

Rob Stankley tells parents worried by the Rec Programs to 'go to hell'

Parents who think the Rec program is too unstructured for children can "go to hell", the candidate has said. "I've been committed to this program for years," he added.

The parents have pointed out that you can't survey the children to gauge what they want in the program as Stankley did. "They need structure, they need boundaries, you can't let them run wild for six weeks," they stressed. They also questioned why the children were required to wear T-shirts advertising Stankley's plumbing business. "He turned my child into a walking billboard," one parent pointed out.

The parents questioned his ability to be in charge of the rec program. They had lists of issues ranging from sunburns to lost children to bickering councilors.

"I would tell them to go to hell," Stankley said. And if children can't handle the program, they should "go home," he added. "Or wet your pants. Do whatever you like. But it's not a question that can be answered."

I am Rob. Hear me roar.

My children were threatened.... ah....no they weren't.... ah...I made that up....ah..... it was a drug rumor at the school.....ah.....nothing to do with the Shandaken election.........ah........did it make you want to vote for me......ah....I would be a good supervisor..........ah....I'm divorced......ah....no I'm not....ah...did you see the new handicapped bathrooms....ah....No you didn't.....ah...I never said  that...ah....I am outraged....ah....No  I'm not..............RRRRWWWWRRRR

Poll predicts election

98 % agree! 

Shandaken is true blue!

A Tale of Town Taxes or My $Green$ Acres

or How to Not Pay Taxes by Glarry Failes

A certain SMartie has been trying her best to to point out the lack of revenue coming into the town. We are glad she is worried. We would like to point out that a certain Glarry donated 3 landlocked acres  to the Town in hope they would use the Good Neighbor fund for a Discover water pool or some crap. He commanded they begin construction in three years or he wanted his very valuable land back. Glarry did not take his land back, even though Shandaken's dreams of becoming coveted host to the World's Dumbest Water Park were trashed when it washed out over the line to Delaware County. No, he let the land remain deeded to the town another 6 years. Then when his friend didn't get elected he  was afraid the town would use it for a transfer station or a dog run or something else useful.  He couldn't have that, Deannie might get mad, so he went to the town board and got it back, then sold it to *his* company for $55000.00, yeah for 3 crappy landlocked acres. When other investors were loosing money he was still cashing in. WHO cares the reader asks? That's the free market, Well, Helena would just like to point out that the 9 years this $Green$ Acres was deeded to the town SMartie and Glarry didn't pay the average oh $600 or so yearly taxes. Took the taxpayers for what $5600.00 dollars. I say we all donate our abodes to the town, with a time limit and a conditional use clause and get out of paying our taxes too.

Other people need help more than we do

Political Blogs and websites are nothing new to Shandaken
One person put up documents that were public information, to save the neighbors and lazy press of having to go all the way to the county offices themselves. So instead of praising this green initiative, this person  was accused of trashing the public servant named in the documents for... oh what was it, oh... SELLING A LOW INCOME APARTMENT BUILDING THAT WAS REFURBISHED WITH TAXPAYER FUNDS TO HER DAUGHTER.

Another one of Shandaken's finest, a "I gotta get me a piece" officer also tried their hand at blogging. But ya know when you are protecting the people, it is never a good idea to trash them on the internet and put up their personal information, so he hit the ol' delete button.
Now we have someone who is sure to be the next Hamlet hero, Please look at what one of the Planners Extraordinaire has come up with

Gerry's burning questions 

Don't forget to click on each item for exciting information!

And now for something completely different...NOT

Has the Shandaken Truth gone the way of the Townsman?
A loyal follower sent in this little tidbit via email...

The new news.

We have taken a break from writing, to read the other blogs that clearly have plagiarized this site and Shandaken Unplugged. We wanted to review the stories and see if we too had crossed the line of decency.

Well, we here at “The Shandaken Truth”, went back and noticed that we hadn’t crossed the lines from decency to pure unrivaled hate. “The Shandaken Truth” talked about the issues, poked fun at our opponent

but still treated them with a modicum of respect.
However we have deleted all of our postings so that we can say we never crossed the line but unless someone archived everything daily, no one could ever go back and prove we were in fact Royal Bastards to the umpteenth degree. We will just keep repeating that we never said anything slanderous or bullying or defamatory or libelous until our little brains and everyone else believes it.
Sincerely, the assholes at THE shandaken truth

this no name pussy is scared

Why this lifelong Republican will vote for the other side.

I can't help myself. So strong is my belief that we've failed in our responsibility to Shandaken that I am contemplating voting for  Democratic candidates for the first time in my life. I read the Republican blog  The Shandaken truth and tag team blog All that is wrong with Shandaken, both which have been posting since June, with utter disgust. I can not conscientiously vote for my own party when my party leaders behave like this. They continue to attack and have no sense of humor. They have joined every charitable group that are now falling apart because of the partisan bickering. Look at the Shandaken Republican Committee, it is in shambles. It is with a heavy heart that I turn by back on my beloved party. It saddens me.  This would never have happened with leadership like Neil Grant.

Sent by email.
Name has been removed by request.

Sharp to to host psychic fair

Following  on the economic success of the Phoenicia Plush Phestival, Buffy Kobe has again teamed up with Councilman Rob Stankley to bring to Town a Psychic Fair. "We envision tents at various locations around Shandaken, with psychics competing against one another," Rob gushed, "No longer will be in the dark about our future!"
"So far," enthused Buffy " we have booked Gary Spivy, my longtime guru. He's amazing, go to his web site http://www.garyspivey.com  and you'll be a believer too!!" Kobe has also booked her group, which she co-founded, the  East Coast Paranormal Investigation Team.

Sing-ALong -- Follow the Bouncing Blob

Fat people got no reason
Fat people got no reason
Fat people got no reason
To live

They got fatty piggy hands
Fatty piggy eyes
They walk around
Tellin great big lies
They got fatty piggy noses
And fatty piggy teeth
They wear fatty shoes
On their nasty fatty feet

Well, I dont want no fat people
Dont want no fat people
Dont want no fat people
`round here

Fat people are just the same
As you and i
(a fool such as I)
All men are brothers
Until the day they die
(its a wonderful world)

Fat people got nobody
Fat people got nobody
Fat people got nobody
To love

They got fatty guts
That hang so low
You got to back up
Just to say hello
They got fatty piggy cars
That go beep, beep, beep
They got fatty piggy voices
Goin peep, peep, peep
They got grubby fatty fingers
And dirty fatty minds
Theyre gonna get you every time
Well, I dont want no fat people
Dont want no fat people
Dont want no fat people
round here
Sorry to R. Newman for not honoring short people.

Ah, the babies be cryin' now

HA HA HA HA HA HA    LET THE WILD RUMPUS START!

It's official

The people have voted. 69%  agree, the human sacrifice will be at the farmstand. So be it.
see more

Holey Moley!

Did you see the United Shandaken Party Campaign Car? Or is it Citizens for a Better Shandaken? Duh, whatever, I saw Patty Cakes, Jerk, Rob Bob , Jo Jo, Boob Kalb, Heavyhand Charlie, John Horny, and little girls pile out of the car like those clowns in the circus who keep coming and coming with Chairman Martie at the wheel. Quite the show... be careful, stay out of the way, they'll run you down.

NEW SOCIAL CLUB MEETS AT LIBRARY

The Shandaken Red Hat Society has been meeting for about 4 years now and are looking foward to their 5th anniversary Gala. Not pictured was Gerry Says-so and Al Pretenda who had previous commitments. These gals used to meet at a private home in Big Indian, but the club became so popular that they outgrew their space. Meetings are the second Thursday of the month at the Phoenicia Library

The Onteora School Budget 2009-2010

Gee Jack while your at it could ya cut this budget too??

BUDGET AT A GLANCE
Budget: .........$49,865,219
Budget-to-Budget
Increase:.................................$1,439,759
Percentage
Increase:...........................................3.42%
Anticipated Levy
Increase:...........................................6.38%

The Background onTiny Rice

I started to write a background on Tina Rice, I tried to be as mean as she, I just can't do it. I wanted to lambaste her, I just can't bring myself to do it.

I am not one that can just make shit up, as much as I want to be nasty to Ms. Rice, I just can't do it. It hurts me more then it will hurt her.

I feel sorry for Ms. Rice. She is such a lost soul. She shows hate for her fellow man because she hates herself. I don't know her personally because she can be so bitchy and miserable, I don't want to even be near her. She is nasty at town board meetings, booing and hissing in the audience when people don't agree with her views. She hangs around Rob Stanley, especially after town board meetings at the bar. They make jokes with sexual innuendos that make her sad inside because she knows Rob is revolted by her and only her friend because she is a vote. She is a big meanie and I feel sorry for her.

I don't know why we just can't stop party politics and just work together. Why do some people always have to attack others?

Again, there is nothing to report on. All the news that is fit to print is just the same crap regurgitated again and again.

Who's your Superman?

With the election quickly approaching and the plague that is the DiSclafunny administration coming to a close I thought it wise to sit down with a bottle of Courvoisier, and go over the list of attributes and deficits of the candidates. Only the Republikans as they are the only ones that count. It was enlightening. Please…enjoy.

Councilmen Candidates

Jack “Flash” Jordan

Employment: Former school administrator, part time ski instructor, semi-retired, collects a pension and returns to work periodically to make $550 per day at taxpayer expense.

Marital Status: Happily married to Kathy “I’m not really an Aley, but I keep my first husbands last name for political purposes” Jordan. Word about the Mrs.: She worked for the Onteora School district licking stamps or writing checks or something. Then the whole VoucherGate happened….seems pretty little miss was so distracted by her recent split with hubby #1 (not that there is anything wrong with divorce mind you, especially when you can retain the name to feel like you belong i.e. flo stankley) pretty miss wrote numerous checks to the same vendor for the same voucher, this error was discovered while she was writing check number 9 or 10 or forty-three, so now a sexually flustered pretty miss who couldn’t keep her eyes off the prize of new Interm “I make $550 a day and I have pretty blue eyes” Principal Jack, allegedly attempted to forge a voucher, but she got the date wrong, FOILED AGAIN (pun intended). Sooo what was the outcome? Kathy resigned after 27 yrs of service to the school district, but not because she wasted taxpayer money and had no idea what she was doing (only teachers have skills) but because during a meeting with the school board they made her cry, ruining her make up and chance to date Jack, as he only dates girls as pretty as he. Well she fixed her makeup during her new found unemployment, married Jack and she never has to work again. Don’t you kids love a happy ending??

Attributes: Jack has been on the scene locally watching the travesty unfold before our eyes. Jack’s background in administration on a large scale more than qualifies him for the day to day administration of a small town. Jack knows his way around a FOIL request and is not afraid to spend millions and millions of dollars all over again, even when he is asked the tough questions over it he just screams “TEACHERS ARE WORTH EVERY DOLLAR THEY MAKE!!! THEY WENT TO COLLEGE AND THEY HAVE SKILLS “ and knows he doesn’t have to explain the 50 million dollar school budget, that’s the only answer you bitches will get. He and his wife are active in local civic events and enjoy outdoor activities when time allows. Jack has taken the time to study cosmetology and grooming. Wore a tie to the last town board meeting in a very professional way. Jack has pretty blue eyes. Come on, like you never noticed, Bitches!

Deficits: Jack is not as well known as some of the other candidates. In fact he has lived in Pine Hill for like 30 yrs and not one person in the hamlet knows who the bejeezus he is. He needs to get out more in the public eye and not just at board meetings. Unless he and pretty miss bring their beauty supplies to town board meetings and give free makeovers. People would remember that!

Superpower: Has the ability to sit in the front row at Town Board meetings and control the thoughts of the audience; “do not bring up school taxes, focus on the small portion of the tax bill Peter can budget, do not bring up the 50 million Onteora spends yearly. He is also behind Chuck Perez and his ability to twitch uncontrollably. Also has above average what’s left of my haircut. Ahh the list goes on.

Pat Ellison

Employment: She gets paid while others merely volunteer. While on the Phoenicia Sewer Committee she got paid $700 to write the By-Laws, which her friend Boob Cross promptly never passed. Currently a practicing attorney. Well, she is beyond practice at this point, she probably has it all down-pat by now. Down pat? sounds kinky. say that three times fast.

Marital Status: Single and LOVING it! Girlfriend is one bitchin’ catch for any upwardly mobile professional, mentally stable man. Translation; Last time she was on a date, Jerry Say-so had no man-boobs.

Attributes: Her knowledge of Law can be a benefit in keeping the town from its current trend of a continued ability to rack up legal fees and place them on the shoulders of the tax payers, unless it’s to write totally useless by-laws. Pat is a resident of Phoenicia and has been active in the community for some time. A former member and officer of the Shandaken Democratic Club, she has no problem presenting herself as a bleeding heart liberal, proclaiming parties should not cross endorse, then running on the Replublikan ticket. Which is why she is seeking an endorsement from parties other than her much loved but misunderstood Democratic Party. Locally, Replublikan extremists have infiltrated and disrupted the calm and order of the once noble local party and have replaced it with vitriolic “nimbiciles “, pushing out the sane member's of the party. Their stance of “I am gonna push through the Belleayre Resort/Shandaken Ponzi Scheme that I bought into” attitude has made people like Pat realize that all residents, regardless of party affiliations, must work together to rid the town of the evil forces that are stopping us from recouping our investments. God, I hope her car is one of those transformers thingies and will turn into an idiot detector/dispatcher.

Deficits: Just as Jack, Pat is still not well known. Leave it to cross dressers to not get noticed. Pat needs to speak up more at town board meetings. She too, should get a make-over.

Superpower: She is a Shape-Shifter (see above) Rumor has it she used to be a man, baby. She also has the ability to have great hair everyday of the week while neglecting the rest of her body but her and girlfriend Kathy-J are working on that. She can ask retarded (not the down syndrome kind but the I have no ability to grow kind) questions at Town board meetings in a confusing yet intelligent sounding way that would make Rain Man proud.

Supervisor Candidate Rob Stanley aka da-Beast of Bellyayre

The following was taken from Rob’s own writings via his MySpace page. Fot those of you not down with the MySpace. It’s a website where the yuths and playahs go to hook up. This is just a portion. Click here to see more http://www.myspace.com/DearOlAuntie

Da Beast's Interests

General; Snow!! Skiing, snowboarding, snowblading; all of it

Heroes; Anyone who thinks "outside the box."

Da Beast's Details

Status: Divorced

Body type: 6' 0" / Athletic

Occupation: Plumber, Ski Instructor, Councilman, Playwright&DJ

Income: $60,000 to $75,000

Stanley's Plumbing
Shandaken, NY US
Plumber
Emerging Technologies & Upper Management

The end

Ok whatthefudge are “Emerging Technologies & Upper Management” ???

Stanley Plumbing Corporate Structure consist of Bob Stanley Sr. ,who is three fries short of a Happy Meal, Rob’s brother "whats his name" Stanley and Rob, when he shows up. (he doesn’t go to the icky jobs) That’s two and a half people on a good day and they spend most of that at Morra’s. So what are you upper managing??

Marital Status: Single and kickin’ it playah style (don’t tell his girlfriend, and don’t try to lay a hand on him either, she will cut you sideways, bitches!)

Attributes: He is “manpretty”. Don’t act like you don’t notice. His eyes are as blue as…well, as blue as Jack’s, frankly. Wait, they’re as blue as a bottle of Bombay Sapphire. Yes, Helena likes, she likes a lot. Bombay, that is, don’t get me in trouble with his lady friend. Anyhornydrunk, Rob has a pair of shorts that match his plaid shoes, he wore them every day this summer. The go well with his collection of Shandaken Day T-shirts. He also attends meetings that talk about getting grants. He even picks up the applications and gives them to other people. Just ask the museum director. He gave her one. She spent 40+ hours on it and he didn’t even help. Then he told people she didn’t call him. On any given day, you will find Rob skipping his regular job, and saying he is in between jobs, or saying he is doing councilman things. But really he is at the Pine Hill Arms drinking, or waiting for them to open. He hangs around Town Hall and tries to look smart. He addresses issues on a daily basis. He knows where the recreation balls are kept. Because he is active in Rec., get your mind out of the gutter! He knows where all the water lines are, can fix a leak, can recite Shakespeare, knows about T and A systems, can probably spell T and A too. Puts together the Shandaken Day events with lots of help. Works tirelessly on all town issues. Has no mustache guiding him just a cool little "soul patch", awesomely cool dude. Doesn’t take credit for shit other bitches do. Assists with Grant writing, contributes to numerous committees.He is an expert in Emerging Technologies & Upper Management. And a lot of other vauge stuff that fills lines and makes it sound like he does things. Accomplishes things like working at breaking down the system of cooperation to destroy his nemesis.Saves dollar bills for after golf activities.

Superpower: He might be Superman, I’ve never seen them both in the same place at the same time, and would you be able to recognize Rob without his hair products? Didn’t think so. Clark Kent, table for one?

So, have I given you enough to chew on?

Wait this just in from the Glenbrook Park Committee

We apologize to all handicapped people who thought there was a facility at Glenbrook park. We know it's been what 4, 6, 8 years since the Stankley's promised to git er done. We apologize to the engineer who got the blame from the Stankley's who said it was his fault or that they never got the drawings. They have had the drawings for what 4, 6, 8 years? We apologize to all the volunteers in town who have worked tirelessly to make the town a better place and are embarassed daily by the lack of handicapped bathrooms at Glenbrook. We apologize to the tax payers for the empty shell that should house finished handicapped bathrooms. We apologize to all good plumbers who now have a mark on their profession because of the Stankley's.

NO, WE ARE NOT OBSESSED

Some of the Motivational Posters Rob will Be hanging in Town Hall

Click picture to get closeup of hallway stalker

RaaaaaaaaH You are ALL Process Challenged!

Ok what in bloody blazes is going on with this story. Joan Larry-Blower is fanatical about Process, that much is true. Too bad she continues to attack the human animal more specifically Peter DiSclafani, his party, and anyone who opposes her views.

Joan try loving all animals yourself included.

You are a Public Relations nightmare. I feel sorry for Rupco. Hope you don't do for them what you did for M-Ark and Crossroad Ventures. Then again after everyone in Shandaken who invested in the resort goes belly up, you will have more poor people to help.

Is this the Monster that will bring down a SUPER Idiot?

So there is a rumor going around that the whole issue that Helena snuck to her beloved behbehs is a big fat bold faced lie. No big bad officials are questioning Peter and that there is no investigation. Pete-ard eluded at the last monthly meeting show (in his usual cocky way) that he knew of no such investigation. He tried to make Helena look like an liar liar, plastic pants on fire.

I am not upset, because I understand Peter's proabably has brain, and his knowledge curve makes him understand that when he is being questioned, it might not be a bad thing he takes into account who is questioning him. You see, in order to understand why Pete might think he is in trouble, you have to think like him. Allow Helena to decipher his knowledge curve for you with a few examples.

Example 1:

The Assistant Attorney General asks Peter if he knowingly committed a felony while serving the town in an official capacity.

What Peter hears: Peter doesn't hear this because it is a figment of Al's imagination

Example 2:
The Assistant AG asks Peter if he understands that selective enforcement is discrimination and grounds for legal action by the complainant and the Department of State.

What Peter hears: Peter doesn't hear this because it is a figment of Al's imagination

Example 3:

The Assistant AG asks Peter if he understands the difference between extortion and blackmail.

What Peter hears: Peter doesn't hear this because it is a figment of Al's imagination. Which Al the reader asks, Big Fat Al, Baby Hughey Al, or little Al who has taken his head outta Dean's ass to attend a few meetings lately?

Example 4:

The Assistant AG explains that Peter has been wrong by not following proper procedure and might have gotten himself in a bit of trouble with trying to pass an illegal law.

What Peter hears: Peter doesn't hear this because it is a figment of Al's imagination. The reader now asks why the hell am I reading this?to find out which Al? does not matter they do not have brains

See, it makes no sense at all to you or I (well, maybe not you, but I've just had my third Mango Mojito, so it's all starting to be clearer to me now) but to Peter, this all has meaning. The fact that someone is making up this stuff is amazing, is wierd. Never mind the people making this shit up have no idea what the Attorney General actually investigates



Al Higley will be remembered as the man who was a head of lettuce.

THE TEAMS ARE LINING UP

Press release
AP Shandaken NY;
Annual Shandaken Drag Queen Race:
The Drag Queen Race is one of the Shandaken's more prestigious events. Each year on the Tuesday before Election Day, thousands of spectators flock to the Phoenicia Eagle to to watch costumed drag queens show off their elaborate outfits before the race down Main Street. Following the race an informal block party, with food vendors and live music, lasts a few hours and attracts a diverse crowd.The race begins at 9 p.m. Participants gather as early as 6 p.m.

Fun for all ages! Not to be missed!



shandakentruth.blogspot.com


THE FIRST TEAM TO SIGN UP EVERY YEAR IS ALWAYS TEAM DEAN. THESE GUYS ARE SOOOOO DEDICATED

FEED ME

Whats with the lack of laundry skills