This reporter was astonished to see the scrambled egg like substance that was adhered to Perrez’s face like spackle. Told doctors were baffled by the substance, Perrez turned to the media hoping the publicity would reach someone who knew what it was, turned out he only needed to cross the street.
A dozen yards away at Moron’s Market, long time fixture Boob Stankley Sr was all too familiar with such an affliction. “ I came down with a bad case of it myself when I convinced my friends to invest in the Bellyup resort. They gave Gittah and Scarey Gales thousands of their hard earned retirement money, thinking they would double it in two yrs. geez it’s more like 11 and their investment is a memory, never to be seen again. I couldn’t leave the house for weeks! “
At first Perrez ezplained he thought it was just a bad case of drool . “I woke up one morning and there was this slime all over my face. I thought I had a heavy drool night like I often do, and maybe rolled around in it. I washed up, and it kept coming back, like one of those Brazilian religious statues that’s always dripping. Turned out to be egg. "
Reflecting on his recent activities he realized that last November he had gone to the Town of Shandaken Budget Hearing and thanked Stupidvisor Stankley for his tax increase. “ I didn’t really consider what a douche I was being. Last year I screamed at Disclafunny for a 2 % increase. Told him it should have been a 2% decrease. All those people who invested in the resort are losing their houses!”
“But I admit I did thank Stankley for raising my taxes” Chick lamented “ but it wasn’t so bad like what like 6, 7, 8, or 9 % or something. But geez when the tax bills came and it was almost 12% that’s when it hit me. Boy oh boy I am a freaking moron! No wonder my wife doesn’t let me out. Who thanks someone as untrustworthy as Stankley for raising their taxes? and its not like those other bozos on the board watch what he is doing. I tried to call Jacoff Jorden but he insist on using his cell phone for all town business so he only answers when he is skiing or en route to Kingston. “
When asked what the prognosis was Chick answered “ Well, at first it was runny like snot, but now its kind of cakey.Luckily it can be chipped away at. Tastes good too if you can get past the hint of motor oil. You know, I am pretty much the most pussy whipped guy in the valley,so I am used to my wife chewing my head off. I am in so much deep shit, she has had no problem letting loose on me and keeping the growth down but she is getting a little fat. Tiny Rice has been a big help too, can't ever satisfy her appitite, but she gets a little too close to the bone if you know what I mean. But I will just lay low, and try and redeem myself, adopt a kitten or one of those little kids on T V that cost fifty cents a day. It should clear up by spring, Boob Stankley said so."
