Where trolls are beloved members of the community.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Predictions and Predilections



 Looked into my crystal ball, and listened to the whispers from my beh beh's ghost father, channeled my cat, read my name in numerology and 
 presto 
new predictions from beautiful in my mind psychic  Helena. (with a little help from my gurus/loves of my life Gary Spivey and Rob.)


  1. Tiny Rice, Rob's other squeeze 2.0, hired as Rob's new secretary (who else has the  stomach for Laurilyn and Pep Patti?)
  2. Rob Stankley's mother hired as the Museum director.
  3. Gittah pulls a swindle and leaves New York possibly to Maryland with the AIP land buyout money screwing his investors and partners.
  4. The rumors spread by Flake Killin at the diner end with tragedy as someone is seriously hurt or killed.
  5. Shandaken Day 2010 will have a whopping 100 attendees,  another failed economic stimulus picked up by the taxpayers touted by Rob.
  6. Joan Larry Blower hired as the new social service director (she'll declare Shandaken poverty stricken to get Gittah his HUD grants for the SDEIS so he can get his money to blow town. Her house is triple mortgaged investing in his scheme!)
  7. Police corruption claims are made as a huge illegal immigrant ring is uncovered in Pine Hill and Phoenicia.
  8. Stankley pays the Buffster $12,000 to hang flower baskets in Phoenicia, another failed economic stimulus picked up by the taxpayers touted by Rob.
  9. Jo Jo hired as new deputy clerk (Lauri will have a lot more to beat up on- really as in black and blue)
  10. Jane Roszits hosts alien party with in depth explanations of what it is like to be probed.
  11. Patty Cakes finally finds love (rumor has it she is meeting lots of hotties at the BLEU MOON while pole dancing)
  12. Kathy Aley continues to be known by her former husband's last name and communicates how she wants Hack to vote or what to say via texting. He is strangely at a loss for words when she needs to leave town. (Wait for it! We saw this trick with Jane and Ward!)
  13. An important public figure is revealed to be a member of a white supremacy movement with 2010 seeing a serious increase in racist attacks.
  14. Buffy, Rob's other squeeze, gives Stankley more personal grants (for his house where his first family lives? to get his other girlfriend a green card? to paint his car plaid? to get a manly haircut? for the STD love shack?)
  15. The new town board gives the go ahead for the Phoenicia sewer with Boris, Rob and Hack voting yes (Poor Rick and Mike really talked up Randy, who? How much will that sewer bill be? HOW MUCH?)
  16. Denise and Rick Wiccerdella blow their gaskets.
  17. Boob Kalb attempts to pay his delinquent tax bill with Big Indian wooden nickels.
  18. Stankley spends $100,000 for a skate park using the good neighbor fund while bonding a new ambulance for 150,000 dollars paid out of taxpayers pockets.
  19. Rick wiccerdella fired as water commissioner, replaced by Shandaken's  sweetheart Charlie Brazier.
  20. The new town board makes the Crossroads project an Empire zone (I'm predicting February- how about you?)
  21. The stock market fails again and the Smartie and Gary  G unable  to recover. (the empire zone will not help - too little too late, too bad Gittah left with the cash)
  22. Corruption claims made as a huge illegal sex ring is uncovered as part of an investigation of Uncle Johnny and his cronies with rumors pointing to the court.
  23. Al Pigley finally eats a piece of fruit from his own business and chokes on the rot.
  24. No laws enforced fairly and equally in Shandaken.
  25. The handicap bathrooms at Glenbrook Park promised by Stankley plumbers not finished.
  26. Stankley bankrupts Shandaken and begs Patterson for a casino as part of his economic development vision (like the skate park, the flowers, the new town hall, the empire zone, the sewer) and as payback for his investment pals.
  27. Vin, Tim and Boris three steps behind blurting out yes votes to anything just to seem like they know what's going on. 
  28. From our readers SHARP folds, and the Buffster, unable to put herself up for adoption after royaly screwing over her own mother, starts ghostbusting full time
  29. And this Rob usurps Mr. Clean, unquestionably, as THE most hated man in Shandaken holding the title through 2033
  30. And this Tiny Rice has to be let go after five office chairs are broken and is replaced by Kathy Aley aka Hack Jordon's wifey who proceeds to do what she does best, pay the same voucher three and more times over. 
  31. And this  Vin makes an announcement that he would like our votes making him volunteer of the year, Rob objects that he is the logical choice, Hack chimes in that he volunteers the most, only to be pushed aside by the Buffster who claims she is the hardest working girl. When asked what it is they have volunteered for? Vin tells of all the hours he spends at the diner talking politics, Rob points to the rec committee who he is liaison for, Hack spouts his work with the children at Onteora and the Buffster tells of all the seniors she has helped. The audience is stunned.Brain Powers has to boot up his laptop to read the dictionary meaning which flies directly over their heads. Beating of the chests and face to face roars ensue with the Buffster letting the first punch fly.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Family Matters... especially during the holidays

 
So Micky was in front of the Judge in divorce court..
Let me get this straight the judge asked "You want to divorce Minnie because she is crazy?"
"Noooo" Mickey protested " I never said she was crazy,
I said SHE WAS FUCKING GOOFY"

So this Thanksgiving when you are all alone with your hairless-Asian hybred hubby, wondering why your family has shunned you, think about Mickey and Minnie. Think about how Minnie still needed a little action and companionship when she was well into her twilight years. Did it make her crazy or just human? Who were you to judge and make her feel like she was wrong? You should hope that when you get to be her age your libido is still working as well as your heart. Think about how your greed and superiority have made you into the bitter cud chewing sow that you are. Maybe the spirits, those in the bottle and those brought to you by Gary Spivey, are enough to keep you company this holiday season. Your so-called friends hate you because of the wrath you have brought upon them. Your family hates you because of your selfish ways. But you still have your fantisies, you still have Harry Potter, The Disney Channel, and Ghostbusters Anonymous. Sleep well, Vance

Monday, November 23, 2009

We will enforced every law equally


Heard on the street!  United  Bitter Shandaken and Peorgie and Miranda are talking about how the courts are unsecure. Really? Why now? There has been no increase in crime in Shandaken. In fact officer Peorgie told the town board crime has decreased! much to the disappointment of Gary G managing partner of the proposed resort. Rumors are flying!!! Apparently Rob's big idea is to buy the Allaben Church for courtroom and offices. Don't ya think the court clerk will feel unsafe working there all by her lonesome so we'll need have a po leese officer with her while she deals with miscreants. Right? Follow this thread some more and now we'll have to have a full blow court with jail and po leese department with offices. After renos that will have to have the latest in jail trends and newest in court provisions and top cop shop props and don't forget the septic tank, leach field and water well, and...ah yes, the rotunda. ..we are looking at a cool million before cost overruns. How will they sell it to us? We will enforced every law equally. Sure! Right! The Board will have to go with that -who doesn't love law enforcement- the laws apparently can't be enforced now, there isn't enough room for all the enforcin' that needs to git done. Did you know the po leese in Shandaken are authorized to uphold all the laws including town codes? Yep on your property, pokin' 'round for violations and they don't need a warrant. Rob will justify the expense of the new jail/court house by claiming all the violations will be bringin' in the bacon. AND with all the new crime from the resort/casino, we will need full time po leese officers and more offices and a jail and and and .  Wait for it!!!!


A burning question,  if Peorgie passes a drunk councilman driving down the road, does he turn around, stop him and arrest him for DRIVING UNDER the INFLUENCE or does he ignore it and keep going and get a yucky feeling?????

" I was going to respond  to what people have said about me in other blogs.  I noticed myself getting worked up and I don’t like the way it makes me feel.  I feel mean and yucky.  I say yucky because I do not have the vocabulary to describe it.  Lets just say, in responding to an anonymous bloggers postings and comments, sometimes it just ain’t worth it." G.N. from his newest blog

Friday, November 20, 2009

did you eat a bowl of stupid for breakfast?


Hack Jordon tells again and again ad nauseam, how he's made budget after budget, from his experience as a school administrator. But, has anyone ever seen a school budget go DOWN? Then he tells us he has tons of ideas on how to reduce spending. At the budget hearing  Hack  has lots of question on what the numbers mean. Seems we will  have to wait until Hack collects a paycheck to hear all his great ideas. Money must be the motivator, like getting paid $600 a day to be interim principal. What kind of JERK can't help his town unless he gets paid?  From what we hear Hack ran that school he administered into financial hell that took years to fix after he was forced out in disgrace.. Taxes skyrocketed while he was school administrator. Quoted in the Phaux times he said he'll need some time to study the budgets. Wait for it!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

What a creep!



Well folks, this just goes to show you can only dangle from rooftops staring into women's bedroom windows for a long long long time before the boys in blue take notice. For shame, Spidey, for shame. And, on a completely and totally unrelated note that has absolutely nothing to do with this story: Uncle Johnny's got a used repelling harness for sale.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Georgie Peorgie come out come out where ever you are!


Every single day
leaving the bar in Phoenicia  weaving dead drunk on his feet former councilman Al. Then he gets in his car and drives.

Every single day
weaving down the street is defunct Townsman editor Killin. Then he gets in his car and drives.

Every single day
in Phoenica wasted out of his mind is former ZEO Glen. Then he gets in his car and drives.

Every single day
puking in the parking lot from too much booze is Councilman Stankley. Then he gets in his car and drives.

How about it Georgie? Where are you Georgie?

Is this how every law is enforced equally?  Or are you too busy writin' for the Shandaken Truth? Or are you waiting till they kill some innocent?

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

STANKLEY HAS SECRET ALIEN AGENDA!

      
   It was revealed this week that Rob Stankley has been dating someone who hasn't lived here very long. This would explain the reason for the abandonment of the newcomer fear retoric that has overshadowed recent elections. Many believed that the fact that Hack Jordan and his wife Kathy-"I just kept the name Aley after the Divorce" were sure to suffer if the recent campaign were to focus on  how non-locals were screwing everything up. But an investigation this week revealed that Rob Stankley has been consorting with those who have even less of a relationship with locals than the Not-Aley-Jordans.
"Look you stupid people, Hillary Clinton had an Alien baby 20 yrs ago, no one cared" Stankly remarked " if I was a little extra-terrestrial hootchie-coo who does it hurt? My wife doesn't like me anymore"
"Splak dung oohh he stuperman ach wah yong epeee eeep wa drgunidn   i  cjd cdi pjwnc drei xncy " commented his date
"She's taking English classes, but as long as she can get me a drink with a wave of the hand, its all good"
When asked about up holding the law and the US constitution, Stankley stated he was elected to uphold the laws of shandaken, and even that was a gray area.






Monday, November 2, 2009

This is Not a Left vs. Right Issue


Disclaimer we received this via email for proofreading from "Mo" we don't think it was meant for our blog (who nose?)but we will print it anyways.
Let’s go back and see what we have accomplished with these writings.  We began this with the intention of bringing to light the nasty attacks on the elected town officials.  It proceeded on nastily enough, we did some humor pieces, we did some ranting, we did some stuff that could have hurt someone’s feelings.  That wasn’t our primary intention. We didn’t want to just hurt feelings, we wanted to embarrass, humiliate and harass them, We wanted to be Cyber~Bullies.  We wanted to have people think the town board was going to jail, they were being investigated,  We called people ho bags and implied the nastiest things about them. We said they were arrested at their jobs and shopped for dildo’s in Pine Hill. We didn’t stop at elected officials and their policies We attacked their appearance, height and grooming.  We attacked people who are not elected officials. We are better than them. We were not alone, of course we didn’t write all this awful stuff, we directed people to our tag team blog so we could say it was the other guy who wrote that.
This originally was a vehicle for right against left, republicans vs. democrats.  We are shifting that view, this is about coming together as one People (like US) and changing what needs to be changed (your minds, to think like ours)
Is it possible for people to change their minds about the direction they are going?  Yes it is.  Not US but YOU In fact people who have open minds and can actually change their opinions to  ours are who we want representing our town and the people in it.  We would like to have people willing to listen to dissenting opinions and through discussion, they can change their minds.  There is no one way to address a problem.  Successful people are the ones who are able to listen to OUR reason and change with the times. We will continue to hate you until you think like us
We hope that the candidates that are voted into office are these types of people.  People who refuse to think like us are not the types of people who should be leading people. Phoenicia requires a sewer.  We know this, let’s have a vote on it town wide, since ONLY THE TAXPAYER WHO LIVE IN THE SPECIAL PHOENICIA  SEWER DISTRICT WILL PAY FOR IT.  That’s how dumb we are.
Government needs to stop spending money without the majority of the board’s approval, even though that’s how our government is set up, That’s how dumb we are. Pete this means you have to do what we say. Or we will continue to say you opened sealed bids, had shady dealings and more meetings with just the democrats or just the republicans of the board.
These above issues are just some of the issues that have come up.  We will make up more when you win.
We do not understand your tactics, we do not understand who your advisers are or what their individual agenda’s are.  This is why we have been writing.  We actually do not blame you for not answering us Peter.  Who would answer a small group of taxpayers, who wrote such nasty stuff on the internet, Who would think you wouldn’t post a comment or two. Who would think you wouldn’t be our friend. That’s how dumb we are.
Do we all not want the same things?  We want the town to move forward to the resort  We want cell service, despite Caveman Chucks rantings. we want civility “rozzitz style” in town board meetings, we want honesty and caring from the members of the board, like Joan Larry-blower demonstrates, we want the open, transparent and truthful government that was promised, Like Boob Crosss showed us.  Is this too much to ask?
We are grown human beings, we are fathers and mothers, we are professionals and we are laborers, We are assholes. We can’t ask real questions. We have to be really mean and hide behind anonymous blogs. We are sure it will bring us fans and victory. That’s how dumb we are.
We will take flack from this article from another small group of taxpayers who have also decided to voice their opinions in blogs.  These people will attempt to destroy us by posting the same article with the words changed.  These opponents use their words not to incite change but to continue carry on the nasty mission we started..  They are against any dissenting voices and will not stop until they win.  Their tactics are useful in defeating people who are easily scared.  We are not easily scared.  They can take our homes, they can have our stuff, but they will never take our freedom.  We will continue to post our articles until we die.  Tyranny comes in many forms and this small band of tyrants that oppose us shall not succeed in threatening us. We are really paranoid, we think you will take our homes because we blog. That’s how dumb we are.
You can tell the character of people by how foolish they allow themselves to look. Just look at us, if you haven’t figured out what assholes we are by now, well, you never will. Guess you’re one of us! . That’s how dumb we are.