Georgie Porgie ran away

The Daily Freeman has a service to report issues in town.

Looking at Phoenicia, what do we find? A dangerous pullout, a missing sign and a speeding car. Checking out each of them we see the Shandaken Police are watching.
http://www.seeclickfix.com/watch_area/8371 Hmm... interesting. 16 fix it and 29  complaints on the dangerous pull out and one for the speeding car. What issue does Officer Porgie promise to look into? Ha! Wrong! The one speeding car..... where? you ask breathlessly.... Broadstreet hollow in ???????? What? CHICHESTER!!!!! HAHAHA Porgie wants to put more patrols in Broadstreet hollow, Chichester. Sounds like he got punked by John Porn. Geez John, wonder who could that be you fingered? No! Not little kids.... Geez! John! THAT is a different issue. Make us PUKE.You said it was a  white haired man who drives a little red car. Really, John? Really. Hey Georgie Porgie! Do you live in Chichester?

Stankley's Twelve days of Shandaken Christmas

On the First Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...a plane ticket to go visit her when she got deported to Brazil.

On the Second Day of Christmas,  my true love gave to me...Two Jailed Pervert Stalkers and a plane ticket to go visit her when she got deported to Brazil.

On the Third Day of Christmas,  my true love gave to me...Three Useless Secretaries, Two Jailed Pervert Stalkers and a plane ticket to go visit her when she got deported to Brazil.

On the Forth Day of Christmas,  my true love gave to me.. Four Clueless Town Board Members,  Three Useless Secretaries, Two Jailed Pervert Stalkers and a plane ticket to go visit her when she got deported to Brazil.

On the Fifth Day of Christmas,  my true love gave to me.......Five Bottomless Drinks......, Four Clueless Town Board Members,  Three Useless Secretaries, Two Jailed Pervert Stalkers and a plane ticket to go visit her when she got deported to Brazil

On the Sixth Day of Christmas,  my true love gave to me.. Six Hangovers,. ......Five Bottomless Drinks......., Four Clueless Town Board Members,  Three Useless Secretaries, Two Jailed Pervert Stalkers and a plane ticket to go visit her when she got deported to Brazil...

On the Seventh Day of Christmas,  my true love gave to me.. Seven Lawsuits Pending,  Six hangovers,........ Five Bottomless drinks....., Four Clueless Town Board Members,  Three Useless Secretaries, Two Jailed pervert stalkers and a plane ticket to go visit her when she got deported to Brazil

On the Eighth Day of Christmas,  my true love gave to me.. Eight Unneeded Policemen,  Seven Lawsuits Pending,  Six Hangovers, ........Five Bottomless drinks........., Four Clueless Town Board Members, .Three Useless Secretaries, Two Jailed Pervert Stalkers and a plane ticket to go visit her when she got deported to Brazil

On the Ninth Day of Christmas,  my true love gave to me..Nine Bitter Big Indian Bloggers,   Eight Unneeded Policemen, Seven Lawsuits Pending,  Six Hangovers, ........Five Bottomless drinks........., Four Clueless Town Board Members, .Three Useless Secretaries,  Two Jailed pervert stalkers and a plane ticket to go visit her when she got deported to Brazil

On the Tenth Day of Christmas,  my true love gave to me.. Ten percent tax increase after Flowers and Shandaken Day spending, Nine Bitter Big Indian Bloggers,   Eight Unneeded Policemen, Seven Lawsuits Pending,   Six hangovers, ........Five Bottomless drinks........., Four Clueless Town Board Members, .Three Useless Secretaries,  Two Jailed Pervert Stalkers  and a plane ticket to go visit her when she got deported to Brazil

On the Eleventh Day of Christmas,  my true love gave to me.. Eleven  times Twenty Angry  Investors who lost their money in Crossroads Big Adventure,   Ten Percent Tax Increase after Flowers and Shandaken Day Spending,  Nine Bitter Big Indian Bloggers,   Eight unneeded Policemen, Seven lawsuits pending, Six hangovers, ........Five Bottomless drinks........., Four Clueless Town Board Members, .Three Useless Secretaries, Two Jailed Pervert Stalkers and a plane ticket to go visit her when she got deported to Brazil

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas,  my true love gave to me.. Twelve Nights at the Blue Moon to forget my problems, Eleven  times Twenty Angry  Investors who lost their money in Crossroads Big Adventure,   Ten Percent Tax Increase after Flowers and Shandaken Day spending,  Nine Bitter Big Indian Bloggers,   Eight Unneeded Policemen, Seven Lawsuits Pending,  Six hangovers, ........Five Bottomless drinks........., Four Clueless Town Board Members, .Three Useless Secretaries,  Two Jailed Pervert Stalkers and a plane ticket to go visit her when she got deported to Brazil

Predictions and Predilections

 Looked into my crystal ball, and listened to the whispers from my beh beh's ghost father, channeled my cat, read my name in numerology and 
 presto 

new predictions from beautiful in my mind psychic  Helena. (with a little help from my gurus/loves of my life Gary Spivey and Rob.)

1. Tiny Rice, Rob's other squeeze 2.0, hired as Rob's new secretary (who else has the  stomach for Laurilyn and Pep Patti?)
2. Rob Stankley's mother hired as the Museum director.
3. Gittah pulls a swindle and leaves New York possibly to Maryland with the AIP land buyout money screwing his investors and partners.
4. The rumors spread by Flake Killin at the diner end with tragedy as someone is seriously hurt or killed.
5. Shandaken Day 2010 will have a whopping 100 attendees,  another failed economic stimulus picked up by the taxpayers touted by Rob.
   
6. Joan Larry Blower hired as the new social service director (she'll declare Shandaken poverty stricken to get Gittah his HUD grants for the SDEIS so he can get his money to blow town. Her house is triple mortgaged investing in his scheme!)
7. Police corruption claims are made as a huge illegal immigrant ring is uncovered in Pine Hill and Phoenicia.
8. Stankley pays the Buffster $12,000 to hang flower baskets in Phoenicia, another failed economic stimulus picked up by the taxpayers touted by Rob.
9. Jo Jo hired as new deputy clerk (Lauri will have a lot more to beat up on- really as in black and blue)
10. Jane Roszits hosts alien party with in depth explanations of what it is like to be probed.
11. Patty Cakes finally finds love (rumor has it she is meeting lots of hotties at the BLEU MOON while pole dancing)
12. Kathy Aley continues to be known by her former husband's last name and communicates how she wants Hack to vote or what to say via texting. He is strangely at a loss for words when she needs to leave town. (Wait for it! We saw this trick with Jane and Ward!)
13. An important public figure is revealed to be a member of a white supremacy movement with 2010 seeing a serious increase in racist attacks.
14. Buffy, Rob's other squeeze, gives Stankley more personal grants (for his house where his first family lives? to get his other girlfriend a green card? to paint his car plaid? to get a manly haircut? for the STD love shack?)
15. The new town board gives the go ahead for the Phoenicia sewer with Boris, Rob and Hack voting yes (Poor Rick and Mike really talked up Randy, who? How much will that sewer bill be? HOW MUCH?)
16. Denise and Rick Wiccerdella blow their gaskets.
17. Boob Kalb attempts to pay his delinquent tax bill with Big Indian wooden nickels.
18. Stankley spends $100,000 for a skate park using the good neighbor fund while bonding a new ambulance for 150,000 dollars paid out of taxpayers pockets.
19. Rick wiccerdella fired as water commissioner, replaced by Shandaken's  sweetheart Charlie Brazier.
    
20. The new town board makes the Crossroads project an Empire zone (I'm predicting February- how about you?)
21. The stock market fails again and the Smartie and Gary  G unable  to recover. (the empire zone will not help - too little too late, too bad Gittah left with the cash)
22. Corruption claims made as a huge illegal sex ring is uncovered as part of an investigation of Uncle Johnny and his cronies with rumors pointing to the court.
23. Al Pigley finally eats a piece of fruit from his own business and chokes on the rot.
24. No laws enforced fairly and equally in Shandaken.
25. The handicap bathrooms at Glenbrook Park promised by Stankley plumbers not finished.
26. Stankley bankrupts Shandaken and begs Patterson for a casino as part of his economic development vision (like the skate park, the flowers, the new town hall, the empire zone, the sewer) and as payback for his investment pals.
27. Vin, Tim and Boris three steps behind blurting out yes votes to anything just to seem like they know what's going on. 
28. From our readers SHARP folds, and the Buffster, unable to put herself up for adoption after royaly screwing over her own mother, starts ghostbusting full time
29. And this Rob usurps Mr. Clean, unquestionably, as THE most hated man in Shandaken holding the title through 2033
30. And this Tiny Rice has to be let go after five office chairs are broken and is replaced by Kathy Aley aka Hack Jordon's wifey who proceeds to do what she does best, pay the same voucher three and more times over. 
31. And this  Vin makes an announcement that he would like our votes making him volunteer of the year, Rob objects that he is the logical choice, Hack chimes in that he volunteers the most, only to be pushed aside by the Buffster who claims she is the hardest working girl. When asked what it is they have volunteered for? Vin tells of all the hours he spends at the diner talking politics, Rob points to the rec committee who he is liaison for, Hack spouts his work with the children at Onteora and the Buffster tells of all the seniors she has helped. The audience is stunned.Brain Powers has to boot up his laptop to read the dictionary meaning which flies directly over their heads. Beating of the chests and face to face roars ensue with the Buffster letting the first punch fly.

And now for something completely different...NOT

Has the Shandaken Truth gone the way of the Townsman?
A loyal follower sent in this little tidbit via email...

The new news.

We have taken a break from writing, to read the other blogs that clearly have plagiarized this site and Shandaken Unplugged. We wanted to review the stories and see if we too had crossed the line of decency.

Well, we here at “The Shandaken Truth”, went back and noticed that we hadn’t crossed the lines from decency to pure unrivaled hate. “The Shandaken Truth” talked about the issues, poked fun at our opponent

but still treated them with a modicum of respect.
However we have deleted all of our postings so that we can say we never crossed the line but unless someone archived everything daily, no one could ever go back and prove we were in fact Royal Bastards to the umpteenth degree. We will just keep repeating that we never said anything slanderous or bullying or defamatory or libelous until our little brains and everyone else believes it.
Sincerely, the assholes at THE shandaken truth

this no name pussy is scared