Biggest Idiot in recent memory

The constant refrain of the past 8 years of "Can you hear me know" Chuck Peerez and Rob Stankley is strangely quiet since January. No one has voiced the opinion that the Town is probably the owner of the cell tower since Mariner has reneged on the tower contract and most likely out of business. Strangely, no one has voiced any opinion, for that matter, on anything. Yet, Hack Jordon came up with a solution that has the taxpayers providing cell service to the Town Hall. What a guy! With his brain working at full capacity, Jordon suggested, as offered by the cell provider, everyone of us buy relay antenna and boosters to get cell service. All except the town hall which will get it bought by you and me. Jordon called this a step in the right direction. So let's take $250, the cheapest booster, times approximately 1500 homes in the area, and the cell company would rack up $375,000.00 With no guarantee of a strong signal. Hack is right on top of it, isn't he? Communication + Teamwork = Success

A Man Called Mustang_______Sally

Shandaken chapter in the saga loosely based on the story "A Man Called Horse."
In 1998 a commodities trader is captured by a developer. He lives with other investors and begins to understand/accept their lifestyles.
Eventually he is accepted as part of the tribe and becomes their leader. See the grueling ritual of hanging him with hooks by his man boobs to the beating of the big drums when the Big Indian tribe makes him their chief.
Free. Big Indian Park Sat. June 12th.
Fun for the whole family.
Refreshments served following the official naming of Mustang Sally to  Chief of Lost Cause Tribe and the re-dedication of sacred jaundiced totem pole.

Georgie Porgie ran away

The Daily Freeman has a service to report issues in town.

Looking at Phoenicia, what do we find? A dangerous pullout, a missing sign and a speeding car. Checking out each of them we see the Shandaken Police are watching.
http://www.seeclickfix.com/watch_area/8371 Hmm... interesting. 16 fix it and 29  complaints on the dangerous pull out and one for the speeding car. What issue does Officer Porgie promise to look into? Ha! Wrong! The one speeding car..... where? you ask breathlessly.... Broadstreet hollow in ???????? What? CHICHESTER!!!!! HAHAHA Porgie wants to put more patrols in Broadstreet hollow, Chichester. Sounds like he got punked by John Porn. Geez John, wonder who could that be you fingered? No! Not little kids.... Geez! John! THAT is a different issue. Make us PUKE.You said it was a  white haired man who drives a little red car. Really, John? Really. Hey Georgie Porgie! Do you live in Chichester?

Hacks Diet

Wanting to loose wieght for the upcoming sport season Hack Jorden decided to shop around for diets.

 John Porn suggested to him to a diet he had been using that was available on the web for a small monthly fee. "It's great" claimed Hack "They provide you with visual aides that along with specific arm movements are sure to rid the body of excess fluid buildup"

"Yes" John Porn chimed in " we have an entire network of users that have been employing this system for years, and we have a variety of stimulant packages for all tastes. You can include your partner or go it alone, your choice" Noting that he lives a solitary existence, John Porn went on to say that the system has not only made him feel relaxed but given him the tools he needs to forget just how repulsed the opposite sex is by him. "When you go through life with the social and moral obstacle I have, it's important to find a support group that shares your interest and hobbies. I feel like I have a new family and I am happy to share it with Hack"

When asked about a report on the web that this particular diet, while successful at ridding the body of excess fluid buildup as promised has also led to protein deficiencies and thick wrist syndrome, Hack scoffed.

"I have met many of Mr. Porn's associates and I can tell you they have no such problems. They are a great bunch of guys who look fine and are willing to share. All I can say is I tried the diet and I am hooked!"

What Chuck Peerez should have known

Big Indian's Chuck Peerez, fondly known as La Cucaracha, really knows how to hurt a guy. I was frankly stunned to hear him point his finger and say that he didn't know that
Vin Burnstien, whom he voted for, had been given lifetime family insurance  as part of his retirement package from the DEC. Peerez also seems to have been unaware that Hack Jordan and his wifey receive free insurance as part of his package from the school district. Peerez charged the town employees with failing to disclose their pay with insurance benefits. Peerez seems to think only in terms of town taxes and forgets that he pays state and school taxes which provides ex-state and school employee health insurance.

Jordan Forms Sex Commission

Today Councilman Jordan formed the Shandaken Commission on Sex Policy to review existing policies and laws, recommend changes, and identify best practices from around the town. The group is to focus first on an adult entertainment law. Policy recommendations are to be provided to the town board.

The commission is comprised of two individuals who are not current decision-makers within town government so that the issues receive an arms-length review. The third is on the Planning Board. The individuals were chosen because of their expert knowledge on specialized sexual proclivities. Officials from within town government will, however, be invited to provide their input.

Town Clerk proposes separate but equal law

SHANDAKEN The new law proposes services, facilities and public accommodations to be separated by political party, on the condition that the quality of each group's public facilities are to remain equal. "We all know that Democrats are not the same as us," declared Lorry Frasier, the Shandaken Town Clerk since 1934. She went on to explain the town hall bathrooms would be converted. "I will not share a bathroom with those people, I could get a disease," she said. The law would require all businesses and public places to post which party is welcome. The public hearing on this law will be June 8th following the Pine Hill extension bullying.