Arkville Water Discovery Center changes focus

Arkville NY; Garry Failles, the master mind behind The Water Discovery Center slated to open in Arkville NY announced this week the center has changed it's mission.
"Rather than push ahead with the mission we first came up with years ago, we decided instead to focus on what it really is, a steaming pile of bullshit" said Failles on tuesday.
For years Failles and his group have concentrated on ways to spend the million dollars in watershed "economic development" money awarded to the region from NYCDEP. Sadly they haven't even been able to update the website since 2008. While Farty Gailles, Garry's wife and 'Administrative manager to the chair' of the museum has had little problem spending cash on lunch meetings, trips to malls for scouting and the like, other members of the board have not met their obligations.
Glum Millerbeerdrunkard resigned from his post as Spandrunken Zoning Officer amid charges of porn watching in the office years ago. He then followed up with a DWI, that severly impacted his spending.
"Half of the economic decline in Shandaken is due to Glum no longer being belly up to the bar" said Mike Rackateera, local bar owner. "He used to spend thousands, now not so much"
"Its true" added Farty " why I was adding up receipts and after getting a lifetime membership to NAMBLA, Glum hasn't handed in any receipts since 2010."

A steaming pile of bullshit has replaced what was to be the Water Discovery Center

When asked about the other board members, both of the Failles admitted most of them jumped ship long ago. The last annual meeting was held in 2008, when they hung a fake sign on an empty Crossroads office next door to the Highmount PO for a night to impress non-local investors.

Since then, Garry says its all bullshit, He doesn't know if the Catskill Waterspread Organization, (which he says is just a front for the NYCDEP that wants to depopulate the area), will give them anymore funds.

"It's just as well, he spends all his time at the Emerskin, keeping that crap afloat" Farty complained.

"It's all bullshit" Garry laughed " I can't believe we are still getting away with spending all the investors money, not paying taxes. Those guys on Wall Street got nothing on us"



Stankley and Jordon to be arrested

ALLABEN- The Associated Mess

The Shandaken Stoopidvisor, Rob Stankley, 49, will be arrested and charged with corruption in trading political favors for over $30,000 of gifts from a real estate developer seeking zoning changes and for taking $12,000 in campaign contributions.

Ulster County prosecutors will charge  Stankley with three counts of unlawful compensation, four counts of official misconduct, and one count each of grand theft, petty theft, conspiracy to commit unlawful compensation, and perjury.

The charges center on Stankley's involvement in the rezoning attempt of land owned by controversial developer Scary Gailles and hiding it in the guise of rezoning route 28 for farmstands. At this time, Gailles is seeking a zoning change on land that will enable him to build large luxury-style homes and a spa hotel with golf course.

While Stankey serves on the town board that is responsible for granting the approvals, prosecutors say that Gaille's business partner, Dean Gutter, ordered subcontractors to make improvements at the Shandaken home shared by Stankley and his wife.

Gailles, 64, a former manager of exotic bar business, The Boy Store, was also be arrested and charged with one count of perjury.

Authorities say that subcontractors will install a new toilet, a surround sound system, special pool lighting, fencing, pavers and do air conditioning repair work. The improvements will be done after Stankley votes to grant Gailles the zoning changes on Route 28 and subsequent other areas.

Prosecutors said that when investigators asked about the work to be done at his home, he lied about it and denied being married.

Al Piggley, Gailles other corruption, said he will fight the charges. “Any work that is done is a personal favor between friends and there was absolutely no quid pro quo. Any favors that are done for him by his friends are not given in exchange for an official act.”

Stankley, a registered Republican, is on the town council for six years until the end of his term in 2011. While on the the board, critics said that he used his elected position to solicit a $34,000 grant for his home from SHARP, which is also under investigation.

In addition to Stankley, to be arrested and charged are Councilman Jerkoff Jordon, for corruption in trading political favors for $10,000 of gifts from a real estate developer seeking zoning changes and for accepting $12,000 in campaign contributions.

Both Stankley and Jordon promised to enforce the town laws equally while taking funds from developer Gailles who footed the bill for their campaign. The trial is slated for September.

Area Woman Irate Newspaper Folds

BIG INDIAN- Jo Jo Klabb spewed her final vitriolic acid tongued missive in the last issue of the Phaux Times, final for the Phaux Times that is. Known for her antics like the full page hate rages against mild mannered democrats in election years, the public hearing performances that promoted her husband's employers, and whining how hard she has to work since losing all their investment money in the project, Klabb has readily been the front man for special interests in Shandaken. Klabb refused to explain herself to this reporter instead screaming that she would continue to send her opinion to the editor, Brain Power, of the defunct paper whether he wanted them or not. Klabb a champion poison author takes a smidgen of the truth and mixes it with lies until it breathes a life of it's own, though it has long been suspected the letters were written by an elderly equally deranged woman from Shandaken. As Klabb turned, her footprints left burning steam in the grass.

Prestigious and Coveted Cup

The Shandaken Day Cup is the most coveted award of Shandaken Day. Though hardly anybody outside of the Big Indian fire department cared, still it is considered prestigious by those who state it with loud conviction over and over. The Cup, not a traditional prize, is won through various bogus games of skill, hence the extreme lack of participation. Last year, Big Indian FD won, not surprisingly as they were the only department to show. The Cup boasts a two sided graphic with the hosting hamlet's logo on the outside and the eagle logo on the inside. Those who have wore the cup serendipitously, reported that the thrill of having an eagle near the proximity was unparalleled. Supervisor Stanley urged everyone to participate in the games and promised to place the award on the winner in a special ceremony. Photo: Big Indian Shandaken Day Cup

Sunrise Service

Shandaken NY: The annual sunrise service was held by the Shandaken Eagle Committee this Easter. The Order of the Grand Talon wore their official uniforms and performed the ritual dance of the dung. Six baby kittens were also sacrificed. When asked what a predatory bird had to do with a religous holiday, the reporter in attendance was pelted with a white substance and accused of not supporting the troops. The Shandaken Eagle, once a part of a train station or some other big building, was bought for $12 at a white elephant sale in Hoboken in 1986. Since then the spiritual essence of the big brass avian has been touted by several residents. " I saw it cry blood on Jerry Sayso's birthday" cried Jane Rosbitch. After the ceremony, John Horny was having an egg hunt for all who were interested.

Spreading the Holiday Cheer

The mailbox is fillin up, faster than Helena's shot glass. The little boys fron up the line are showing their crafty side, gotta love those two...