Shandaken Stoopidvisor bought the farm

Allaben, NY. The Shandaken Stoopidvisor announced the recreation program field trip at the July meeting as "getting in touch with our inner farmstand".

The trip was free, as is all the recreation field trips and the recreation summer programs which mainly consist of letting kids get sun burned at Bellyair beach or the winter program of skiing, in what Stankley touts as super special, though all the surrounding towns are offered the same deal from the ski area. Free, as in, your taxes paid for that.

Missy Weaken, 54, Pine Hill, declared the parents were standing in the parking lot since the crack of dawn which she thought was odd since she saw the Stankley stumbling home at 4am pushing an infant in a stroller after coming out of a main street bar. "As I recall, parents had to wait for hours for Stankley to get his ass on the bus last year. I can't believe they let him do it to them again," she chuckled.

Off the record, the bus driver said the chirren are made to wait hours and have missed the boat,  the actual Circleline boat, since Stankley got involved with the recreation committee field trips.

"It used to be first come, first serve until Rob took control and started saving seats for his family and their friends. One year after the "entitled" got on board, there were only two seats left," claimed Jane Rozzbitch,102, Shandaken," luckily my great grandchild was BFF with Rob's son's BF, who got a seat for bringing candy."

Parents were grumbling by the time Stankley arrived looking like he slept in the gutter.

"We yanked our kids out of bed in the dark to do this trip. Some parents flashed the bus driver some green to start rolling without him," snorted Jim Baggins, 40, Phoenicia.

I have never met Rob," Carole Naiveity, 32, of Bushnellsville stated, "What I saw was frightening and he smelled like the bottom of an old shoe."

When Stankley finally climbed on board, he promised the children they would see the most wondrous farm owned by his favorite local business man. He then asked everyone to sing "Old man Piggley has a farm, e, i, e, i, ooooo" which put everyone in a temporary better mood.

The bus traveled down Route 28,over the Rhinebeck bridge and that is when the confusion began.

"I never was tole where we was goin',"declared the bus driver," I was tole the Stoopidvisor was the man in charge and he would tell me where to go."

The bus apparently went all around Red Hook, doubling back several times and then traveled to the Taconic reaching almost to Westchester before turning around.

"Whenever a road appeared, Rob tole me to take it. This must be were the farm is, he'd say, take that road!," he explained. "It prally woodn't have gotten so bad if he wooda stopped singin that damn song."

As part of the field trips perks the children and parents were promised a farm fresh lunch as part Piggley"s commitment to the farm to school initiative.

"You know it was getting dark and Rob would not admit he was wrong or had been duped, he just kept saying, 'He told me he had a farm' between bouts of singing that damn song," said Sally Wright, 24, Woodland Valley."He was deranged."

The parents and children were exhausted and hungry from traveling in circles all day long with no food or beverages on board.

"I've known Rob for ages, he lies. There! I've said it," remarked June LaSnarka, 98, Big Indian.

"What was astonishing was he could not believe someone lied to him, when I've never told him the truth", smirked Nancy Smites, 98, Pine Hill.

When the bus arrived back in Shandaken around midnight, the parents were tight lipped and said what happened on the bus stays on the bus .

The only person willing to comment was the bus driver, "The little tykes would have been happy to see a rusted out tractor. It's a shame what happened to Rob when he wanted to stop at Piggley's all night store in Mount Tremper.", he muttered shaking his head. "The guy is clueless."

Wannabe

Ulster County, NY— Shandaken Town Stoopidvisor, Robert A.-hole Stankley, has endorsed Mike Hein for a second term as Ulster County Executive.  Stoopidvisor Stanley’s endorsement joined a growing list of Town Supervisors.  All of the Democratic Supervisors that have already endorsed Mike Hein for County Executive and this is the third Republican Town Supervisor to jump on the bandwagon.

“As Town of Shandaken Stoopidvisor Stanley’s, I wholeheartedly endorse Mike Hein for re-election as Ulster County Executive,” said Shandaken Town Stoopidvisor Stanley’s Robert A.-hole Stanley.  Mike and his staff have been readily accessible and eager to assist in the inconsequential issues Shandaken has faced over my term, though nada actually gets resolved. Whether the issue involved job losses at the Resort/Spa and economic effects of the cuts that improved Belleayre Mountain, minor sidewalk flooding in Main St., Phoenicia, or other petty issues concerning the NYC DEP, Mike personally has kept himself abreast (teehee) of our issues and is genuinely concerned for the well being and betterment of our residents and businesses, although he has offered nada to remedy anything. He has personally been involved in many of our late night discussions with other agencies in our area and has been supportive of my perspective when push has come to shove on these issues, though nada has come from all this yapping, shoving, and bonding. I am happy to bend over to endorse Mike for a second term and look forward to continuing to foster the relationship he has established with me and I hope by linking my name with his, I'll get re-elected by the clueless Democrats."

I think Republican Stoopidvisor Stanley’s Stanley’s endorsement, is hilarious as I am the only one running and the Democrats rule Ulster County,” said Mike Hein.  “I remain committed to serving all of the residents of Ulster County, even idiots like Stankley.  We live in an incredibly diverse, beautiful and geographically large community and, I am honored to serve as County Executive.”