I pledge open government______________NOT!

Transparency seems simple enough. Show us the money, show us the resolutions. The pursuit of an open government should be done with an open mind. HA! One month into his administration and already playing games.

You can't always get what you want....but sometimes

Things just have a way of working out. I'm not sure if it's the time of the year, the moon cycle, planetary alignment, a monkey who predicts earth quakes, or what have you, but sometimes things really just work out the way they are supposed to.

Last year when Shandaken Unplugged began its run following in the steps of the late great Original Fanci Colon/Barry Derrmann's The Shandaken Truth, no one could have predicted the impact both sites would have on the community and the events that eventually unfolded. Not that the Buffster is claiming these sites were responsible for the hysterical results, not in the least. I think the readers did that all themselves. However, one cannot deny the effect that was felt, both positive and negative, as was the intention, on the community. What was probably the biggest surprise to the Buffster herself, was that others were also paying attention to the posts on the blogs. By "others", the Buffster means people who live in the Hudson Valley Corridor. Yeah, I know, in school they taught you that the world ended at the thruway round-a-bout and that was where the earth dropped off flat!

But a whole world does exist outside the little bubble you call home (Shandaken) with people, and boats, people on boats, cars and dogs, dogs driving cars, etc. And in the mix, executives of big box stores exist outside the bubble. Big boxes with social commentaries, fancy clothing, sparkly sweatshirts, and employee discounts. Ironically, executives outside of the bubble like to read blogs from inside the bubble. They like to read lots of blogs inside the bubble. And when they see a blog they really like (read: laugh their ass off while reading) they contact the blogger and...you see where I'm going with this, don't you?

Yes, chirruns, the Buffster was recently offered a position as an associate that is outside the bubble with glossy floors, fancy flyers, sparkly shelves, and lots of new merchandise. ! Do you think stoli cocktails at Belleayre can be considered an expense write-off?

Of course, I know what you're thinking, I can always tell what the voices in my head are thinking, even before they say it.

"But the Buffster , are you sure this is the real deal, and not some dirty trick set up by the evil doers of the town?"

Yes, at first I was suspicious too. Anydrinkwhore, you know how I love a good game and an offer for free drinks, so I said, "Usually I suck but this time I'll bite."

But after several phone conversations, and finally a fantastic lunch at trendy (read: expensive) lunch cart, it became apparent that I was in the company of an honest to goodness executive. I highly recommend the rotisserie hot dogs with chili sauerkraut- I likes my lunch that kicks me back, the Buffster thought, "If this is a dirty trick being played on me, with a $3 lunch under my belt, I can't wait to see how they drop the bomb." Then came the little Debbie cake with cherries...that was only eh, so bomb dropped!

Anyfoodpoisoning, long, wonderful, exciting story short...the Buffster will soon have a larger contingency of bitches to blog to! But fear not, my loyal beh-behs, you will not be abandoned. Not fully.

Soon enough I will no longer have the time to devote to this blog that I have in the past, but rest assured, I will continue with staggered (pun not lost on me, how 'bout you?) posts, I'll need to keep up with local shenanigans and try out new bitching methods, won't I?

The moral to this story? Wicked, with a large dose of funny is attractive and marketable. Mean without humor...not so much. That's a lesson some have to learn the hard way.

So, yes, things turn out the way they are meant too, and maybe it was the monkey who predicts earthquakes who made it all possible. Or maybe this time is was equal parts hard work and the Buffster's unique talent... with a dash of Smirnoff.

Okay...perhaps it was also a quarter cup of monkey prediction...but only for coloring.

Till next time, my beh-behs

 Join me on Facebook
The Buffster  just discovered this wonderful way to keep up with her bitches, Facebook, so I have opened an account, and would welcome you to follow me as a friend. I'm too shy to friend request myself (i.e., the liquor cabinet is full) so if you're game, give me a look-see!

The Buffster on facebook

Town Owned Newspapers -Coming to our town soon

There have been rumblings. Now Shandaken is the first town to embrace its own propaganda machine.The town of Shandaken last week struck a deal with the editor of the Fauxnicia Times, an unusual deal because it involves the newspaper and the government it covers.
Of course, we don’t expect this to impact the paper’s coverage of Shandaken government, since there is little in the way of hard hitting news and virtually no investigative reporting. Now we have a paper just like the old Townsman as the mouthpiece of the government.
No word on whether the town will change its motto from “where the eagles soar" to "where the eagle is a pinko".
 
Conservatives rule! A new poll by Rasmussen reveals 40% of those polled identify themselves are conservative, outpacing those who consider themselves liberals or moderates. This is great news as we head into 2010, which is likely to be one the most important year's yet for conservatives. We know we represent the values of most Americans, and we need to remember that as we forge ahead!

Lovers and Loosers

Why does Pat look so uncomfortable?

• A. Something is poking her in the back and everyone's got their hands folded.
• B. Something is poking her in the back and she doesn't swing that way.
• C. John just told her he gave out her phone number too.
  

She deserves a plaque. Don't ya think?

Maybe Rob gave it to her in private. 

Less the gas money she charges the town for picking up the mail (even though it's on her way to work or on her way back from lunch) that had the new policy from the insurance company that made changes in how they will do business with little or no input from the insurance holders because they are bleeding money and needed to change they way in which they do business.

2010 the year of the Stoopidman

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poor pitiful charlie holds the prize for longest seat warmer on the planning board and can't even get appointed temporary chair. wonder if the town board  advertised his position every time his term was up? looks like he's got the buyron curse, can't get elected judge and lost his mojo. gosh, it would be a shame if this put him in a beatin' mood.hahaha How bout tiny and lauralynn askin' vin if he was a good catholic boy? Me thinks he's a little too old to be an altar boy.hahaha why is the town Bored so reluctant to put in a time clock for the town employees? The highway workers use one. Is it because when g and g go to "lunch" they lose track of time and come back to work late but still get paid for having "lunch"? hahaha where is the buffster? rumor has it she's learnin' some moves from patty cakes for a new interview after her last one put the judges off their lunch. we were wrong about cakes finding love at the bleu moon, well somewhat wrong, hearsay has it was the other dancers who stimulated her libido. hahaha do you remember when swingers were all the rage in town? why do the kallbs always sit between the gailles?hhahaha does rob have to torture jacck and make him read in public? couldn't' he show some compassion and read for him? do ya think jack'll push the gary g idea of givin us just the number of the resolution for the board to take a vote on or will he git some more education and learn himself to be a better reader? hhahaha what is robs obsession with Mary?  hahaha . why does rob have to lie? everybody knows it when he does it. lee ann trained wendy, yea right how'd she do that when she was workin at SHARP? why can't Pep train another girl? after all she's the one who makes them run cryin.hahaha . looks like the state is comin to town do do an audit.  do they know about the donation funds, does anyone ever get a receipt? Or is that extra special books that lauralynn keeps for herself? hahaha rob has told lots of folks in phoenicia that he will have a moratorium on the sewer for two years. two years to do what? is he hoping he doesn't get reeelected so he won't have to make a decision? let's see if charlie has the balls to ask him. hahaha rob passes shandaken day off to vin, he doesn't want it and tries to pass it off to jack who jumps at the chance to gaze into marys eyes as museum liason rather than have to do shandaken day.. No takers. no one wants to work with lauralynn. HAHAHA rob did this publically?  din't he talk to his cronies before the meeting? he is on all the committes so you just know it'll have to  be great this year up in glenbrook park, Robby boyz home halmet. we pay  taxes so this event can happen because it brings in the tourists.HAHAHA or is it roszit landing? isn't that where the aliens probed?hmmm Pine hill water billing is twice that of Phoenicias yet if you totalled the number of bills that get sent out it would be the same number. hahaha Ger sezso is chomping to get named to the planning board over reappointing Waterman. Ger has cost thousands in legal fees for lawsuts brought on by his stoopidity. Sure Rob will put him back on. what's your tax money to Rob? Spending money! hAHAHAHAHAhahahahaha

Stanley Pardons Potato In Inaugural Ritual

ALLABEN—In keeping with a brand new Shandaken tradition, Supervisor Stanley ceremonially pardoned a 4 pound potato today at a ceremony in the Town Hall. "Under my authority as Supervisor of the Town of Shandaken, I hereby grant this potato full and unconditional clemency," a smirking Stanley declared as he gently patted "Dick," a red potato grown in Big Indian and selected from millions of candidates yielded by this year’s harvest. "May he never find himself in a casserole. Right, little guy?" Like potatoes reprieved before him, Dick will ride as an honored guest aboard the second float of the Phoenicia Memorial Day Parade before spending the rest of his life in the comfort and safety of a tuber petting zoo.