Person With Almost No Responsibility Always Stressed Out

MOUNT TREMPER, NY—Friends of local woman Buffy Kobe, reported Tuesday that the 54-year-old somehow lives in a perpetual state of anxiety and agitation despite of her total lack of any meaningful personal or professional responsibilities. "She rushes around all panicked every morning grumbling that she's running late," Rob Stankley said of his friend with benefits(usually on Tuesday morning), whose frequent sighs of frustration and unending claims of exhaustion belie the fact that no one depends on her for emotional support or for the income of her part-time job working at SHARP. "Buffy sleeps more than anyone I know, yet every other week she complains about how she's feeling sick and desperately needs a vacation." Buffy was unavailable for comment, telling reporters that she was "totally swamped" with a bunch of work and personal stuff. Friends opined that perhaps spending the "profits" from the sale of Friendship Manor was indeed exhausting.