Public Service Announcement

Please be careful, take precautions and always use protection.  






 Please don't drink, do drugs, and drive even if you know Peorgie won't arrest you.

And have a very very safe
New Year!

Stankley's Twelve days of Shandaken Christmas

On the First Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...a plane ticket to go visit her when she got deported to Brazil.

On the Second Day of Christmas,  my true love gave to me...Two Jailed Pervert Stalkers and a plane ticket to go visit her when she got deported to Brazil.

On the Third Day of Christmas,  my true love gave to me...Three Useless Secretaries, Two Jailed Pervert Stalkers and a plane ticket to go visit her when she got deported to Brazil.

On the Forth Day of Christmas,  my true love gave to me.. Four Clueless Town Board Members,  Three Useless Secretaries, Two Jailed Pervert Stalkers and a plane ticket to go visit her when she got deported to Brazil.

On the Fifth Day of Christmas,  my true love gave to me.......Five Bottomless Drinks......, Four Clueless Town Board Members,  Three Useless Secretaries, Two Jailed Pervert Stalkers and a plane ticket to go visit her when she got deported to Brazil

On the Sixth Day of Christmas,  my true love gave to me.. Six Hangovers,. ......Five Bottomless Drinks......., Four Clueless Town Board Members,  Three Useless Secretaries, Two Jailed Pervert Stalkers and a plane ticket to go visit her when she got deported to Brazil...

On the Seventh Day of Christmas,  my true love gave to me.. Seven Lawsuits Pending,  Six hangovers,........ Five Bottomless drinks....., Four Clueless Town Board Members,  Three Useless Secretaries, Two Jailed pervert stalkers and a plane ticket to go visit her when she got deported to Brazil

On the Eighth Day of Christmas,  my true love gave to me.. Eight Unneeded Policemen,  Seven Lawsuits Pending,  Six Hangovers, ........Five Bottomless drinks........., Four Clueless Town Board Members, .Three Useless Secretaries, Two Jailed Pervert Stalkers and a plane ticket to go visit her when she got deported to Brazil

On the Ninth Day of Christmas,  my true love gave to me..Nine Bitter Big Indian Bloggers,   Eight Unneeded Policemen, Seven Lawsuits Pending,  Six Hangovers, ........Five Bottomless drinks........., Four Clueless Town Board Members, .Three Useless Secretaries,  Two Jailed pervert stalkers and a plane ticket to go visit her when she got deported to Brazil

On the Tenth Day of Christmas,  my true love gave to me.. Ten percent tax increase after Flowers and Shandaken Day spending, Nine Bitter Big Indian Bloggers,   Eight Unneeded Policemen, Seven Lawsuits Pending,   Six hangovers, ........Five Bottomless drinks........., Four Clueless Town Board Members, .Three Useless Secretaries,  Two Jailed Pervert Stalkers  and a plane ticket to go visit her when she got deported to Brazil

On the Eleventh Day of Christmas,  my true love gave to me.. Eleven  times Twenty Angry  Investors who lost their money in Crossroads Big Adventure,   Ten Percent Tax Increase after Flowers and Shandaken Day Spending,  Nine Bitter Big Indian Bloggers,   Eight unneeded Policemen, Seven lawsuits pending, Six hangovers, ........Five Bottomless drinks........., Four Clueless Town Board Members, .Three Useless Secretaries, Two Jailed Pervert Stalkers and a plane ticket to go visit her when she got deported to Brazil

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas,  my true love gave to me.. Twelve Nights at the Blue Moon to forget my problems, Eleven  times Twenty Angry  Investors who lost their money in Crossroads Big Adventure,   Ten Percent Tax Increase after Flowers and Shandaken Day spending,  Nine Bitter Big Indian Bloggers,   Eight Unneeded Policemen, Seven Lawsuits Pending,  Six hangovers, ........Five Bottomless drinks........., Four Clueless Town Board Members, .Three Useless Secretaries,  Two Jailed Pervert Stalkers and a plane ticket to go visit her when she got deported to Brazil

Spreading the Holiday Cheer

The mailbox is fillin up, faster than Helena's shot glass. The little boys fron up the line are showing their crafty side, gotta love those two...

Predictions and Predilections

 Looked into my crystal ball, and listened to the whispers from my beh beh's ghost father, channeled my cat, read my name in numerology and 
 presto 

new predictions from beautiful in my mind psychic  Helena. (with a little help from my gurus/loves of my life Gary Spivey and Rob.)

1. Tiny Rice, Rob's other squeeze 2.0, hired as Rob's new secretary (who else has the  stomach for Laurilyn and Pep Patti?)
2. Rob Stankley's mother hired as the Museum director.
3. Gittah pulls a swindle and leaves New York possibly to Maryland with the AIP land buyout money screwing his investors and partners.
4. The rumors spread by Flake Killin at the diner end with tragedy as someone is seriously hurt or killed.
5. Shandaken Day 2010 will have a whopping 100 attendees,  another failed economic stimulus picked up by the taxpayers touted by Rob.
   
6. Joan Larry Blower hired as the new social service director (she'll declare Shandaken poverty stricken to get Gittah his HUD grants for the SDEIS so he can get his money to blow town. Her house is triple mortgaged investing in his scheme!)
7. Police corruption claims are made as a huge illegal immigrant ring is uncovered in Pine Hill and Phoenicia.
8. Stankley pays the Buffster $12,000 to hang flower baskets in Phoenicia, another failed economic stimulus picked up by the taxpayers touted by Rob.
9. Jo Jo hired as new deputy clerk (Lauri will have a lot more to beat up on- really as in black and blue)
10. Jane Roszits hosts alien party with in depth explanations of what it is like to be probed.
11. Patty Cakes finally finds love (rumor has it she is meeting lots of hotties at the BLEU MOON while pole dancing)
12. Kathy Aley continues to be known by her former husband's last name and communicates how she wants Hack to vote or what to say via texting. He is strangely at a loss for words when she needs to leave town. (Wait for it! We saw this trick with Jane and Ward!)
13. An important public figure is revealed to be a member of a white supremacy movement with 2010 seeing a serious increase in racist attacks.
14. Buffy, Rob's other squeeze, gives Stankley more personal grants (for his house where his first family lives? to get his other girlfriend a green card? to paint his car plaid? to get a manly haircut? for the STD love shack?)
15. The new town board gives the go ahead for the Phoenicia sewer with Boris, Rob and Hack voting yes (Poor Rick and Mike really talked up Randy, who? How much will that sewer bill be? HOW MUCH?)
16. Denise and Rick Wiccerdella blow their gaskets.
17. Boob Kalb attempts to pay his delinquent tax bill with Big Indian wooden nickels.
18. Stankley spends $100,000 for a skate park using the good neighbor fund while bonding a new ambulance for 150,000 dollars paid out of taxpayers pockets.
19. Rick wiccerdella fired as water commissioner, replaced by Shandaken's  sweetheart Charlie Brazier.
    
20. The new town board makes the Crossroads project an Empire zone (I'm predicting February- how about you?)
21. The stock market fails again and the Smartie and Gary  G unable  to recover. (the empire zone will not help - too little too late, too bad Gittah left with the cash)
22. Corruption claims made as a huge illegal sex ring is uncovered as part of an investigation of Uncle Johnny and his cronies with rumors pointing to the court.
23. Al Pigley finally eats a piece of fruit from his own business and chokes on the rot.
24. No laws enforced fairly and equally in Shandaken.
25. The handicap bathrooms at Glenbrook Park promised by Stankley plumbers not finished.
26. Stankley bankrupts Shandaken and begs Patterson for a casino as part of his economic development vision (like the skate park, the flowers, the new town hall, the empire zone, the sewer) and as payback for his investment pals.
27. Vin, Tim and Boris three steps behind blurting out yes votes to anything just to seem like they know what's going on. 
28. From our readers SHARP folds, and the Buffster, unable to put herself up for adoption after royaly screwing over her own mother, starts ghostbusting full time
29. And this Rob usurps Mr. Clean, unquestionably, as THE most hated man in Shandaken holding the title through 2033
30. And this Tiny Rice has to be let go after five office chairs are broken and is replaced by Kathy Aley aka Hack Jordon's wifey who proceeds to do what she does best, pay the same voucher three and more times over. 
31. And this  Vin makes an announcement that he would like our votes making him volunteer of the year, Rob objects that he is the logical choice, Hack chimes in that he volunteers the most, only to be pushed aside by the Buffster who claims she is the hardest working girl. When asked what it is they have volunteered for? Vin tells of all the hours he spends at the diner talking politics, Rob points to the rec committee who he is liaison for, Hack spouts his work with the children at Onteora and the Buffster tells of all the seniors she has helped. The audience is stunned.Brain Powers has to boot up his laptop to read the dictionary meaning which flies directly over their heads. Beating of the chests and face to face roars ensue with the Buffster letting the first punch fly.

Family Matters... especially during the holidays

 

So Micky was in front of the Judge in divorce court..

Let me get this straight the judge asked "You want to divorce Minnie because she is crazy?"

"Noooo" Mickey protested " I never said she was crazy,

I said SHE WAS FUCKING GOOFY"

So this Thanksgiving when you are all alone with your hairless-Asian hybred hubby, wondering why your family has shunned you, think about Mickey and Minnie. Think about how Minnie still needed a little action and companionship when she was well into her twilight years. Did it make her crazy or just human? Who were you to judge and make her feel like she was wrong? You should hope that when you get to be her age your libido is still working as well as your heart. Think about how your greed and superiority have made you into the bitter cud chewing sow that you are. Maybe the spirits, those in the bottle and those brought to you by Gary Spivey, are enough to keep you company this holiday season. Your so-called friends hate you because of the wrath you have brought upon them. Your family hates you because of your selfish ways. But you still have your fantisies, you still have Harry Potter, The Disney Channel, and Ghostbusters Anonymous. Sleep well, Vance

We will enforced every law equally

Heard on the street!  United  Bitter Shandaken and Peorgie and Miranda are talking about how the courts are unsecure. Really? Why now? There has been no increase in crime in Shandaken. In fact officer Peorgie told the town board crime has decreased! much to the disappointment of Gary G managing partner of the proposed resort. Rumors are flying!!! Apparently Rob's big idea is to buy the Allaben Church for courtroom and offices. Don't ya think the court clerk will feel unsafe working there all by her lonesome so we'll need have a po leese officer with her while she deals with miscreants. Right? Follow this thread some more and now we'll have to have a full blow court with jail and po leese department with offices. After renos that will have to have the latest in jail trends and newest in court provisions and top cop shop props and don't forget the septic tank, leach field and water well, and...ah yes, the rotunda. ..we are looking at a cool million before cost overruns. How will they sell it to us? We will enforced every law equally. Sure! Right! The Board will have to go with that -who doesn't love law enforcement- the laws apparently can't be enforced now, there isn't enough room for all the enforcin' that needs to git done. Did you know the po leese in Shandaken are authorized to uphold all the laws including town codes? Yep on your property, pokin' 'round for violations and they don't need a warrant. Rob will justify the expense of the new jail/court house by claiming all the violations will be bringin' in the bacon. AND with all the new crime from the resort/casino, we will need full time po leese officers and more offices and a jail and and and .  Wait for it!!!!

A burning question,  if Peorgie passes a drunk councilman driving down the road, does he turn around, stop him and arrest him for DRIVING UNDER the INFLUENCE or does he ignore it and keep going and get a yucky feeling?????

" I was going to respond  to what people have said about me in other blogs.  I noticed myself getting worked up and I don’t like the way it makes me feel.  I feel mean and yucky.  I say yucky because I do not have the vocabulary to describe it.  Lets just say, in responding to an anonymous bloggers postings and comments, sometimes it just ain’t worth it." G.N. from his newest blog

did you eat a bowl of stupid for breakfast?

Hack Jordon tells again and again ad nauseam, how he's made budget after budget, from his experience as a school administrator. But, has anyone ever seen a school budget go DOWN? Then he tells us he has tons of ideas on how to reduce spending. At the budget hearing  Hack  has lots of question on what the numbers mean. Seems we will  have to wait until Hack collects a paycheck to hear all his great ideas. Money must be the motivator, like getting paid $600 a day to be interim principal. What kind of JERK can't help his town unless he gets paid?  From what we hear Hack ran that school he administered into financial hell that took years to fix after he was forced out in disgrace.. Taxes skyrocketed while he was school administrator. Quoted in the Phaux times he said he'll need some time to study the budgets. Wait for it!

What a creep!

Well folks, this just goes to show you can only dangle from rooftops staring into women's bedroom windows for a long long long time before the boys in blue take notice. For shame, Spidey, for shame. And, on a completely and totally unrelated note that has absolutely nothing to do with this story: Uncle Johnny's got a used repelling harness for sale.

Georgie Peorgie come out come out where ever you are!

Every single day
leaving the bar in Phoenicia  weaving dead drunk on his feet former councilman Al. Then he gets in his car and drives.

Every single day
weaving down the street is defunct Townsman editor Killin. Then he gets in his car and drives.

Every single day
in Phoenica wasted out of his mind is former ZEO Glen. Then he gets in his car and drives.

Every single day
puking in the parking lot from too much booze is Councilman Stankley. Then he gets in his car and drives.

How about it Georgie? Where are you Georgie?

Is this how every law is enforced equally?  Or are you too busy writin' for the Shandaken Truth? Or are you waiting till they kill some innocent?

WE EXPECT GREAT THINGS

REALLY we do..................

STANKLEY HAS SECRET ALIEN AGENDA!

      

   It was revealed this week that Rob Stankley has been dating someone who hasn't lived here very long. This would explain the reason for the abandonment of the newcomer fear retoric that has overshadowed recent elections. Many believed that the fact that Hack Jordan and his wife Kathy-"I just kept the name Aley after the Divorce" were sure to suffer if the recent campaign were to focus on  how non-locals were screwing everything up. But an investigation this week revealed that Rob Stankley has been consorting with those who have even less of a relationship with locals than the Not-Aley-Jordans.

"Look you stupid people, Hillary Clinton had an Alien baby 20 yrs ago, no one cared" Stankly remarked " if I was a little extra-terrestrial hootchie-coo who does it hurt? My wife doesn't like me anymore"

"Splak dung oohh he stuperman ach wah yong epeee eeep wa drgunidn   i  cjd cdi pjwnc drei xncy " commented his date

"She's taking English classes, but as long as she can get me a drink with a wave of the hand, its all good"

When asked about up holding the law and the US constitution, Stankley stated he was elected to uphold the laws of shandaken, and even that was a gray area.

Isn't it your turn to take out the trash?

This is Not a Left vs. Right Issue

Disclaimer we received this via email for proofreading from "Mo" we don't think it was meant for our blog (who nose?)but we will print it anyways.

Let’s go back and see what we have accomplished with these writings.  We began this with the intention of bringing to light the nasty attacks on the elected town officials.  It proceeded on nastily enough, we did some humor pieces, we did some ranting, we did some stuff that could have hurt someone’s feelings.  That wasn’t our primary intention. We didn’t want to just hurt feelings, we wanted to embarrass, humiliate and harass them, We wanted to be Cyber~Bullies.  We wanted to have people think the town board was going to jail, they were being investigated,  We called people ho bags and implied the nastiest things about them. We said they were arrested at their jobs and shopped for dildo’s in Pine Hill. We didn’t stop at elected officials and their policies We attacked their appearance, height and grooming.  We attacked people who are not elected officials. We are better than them. We were not alone, of course we didn’t write all this awful stuff, we directed people to our tag team blog so we could say it was the other guy who wrote that.

This originally was a vehicle for right against left, republicans vs. democrats.  We are shifting that view, this is about coming together as one People (like US) and changing what needs to be changed (your minds, to think like ours)

Is it possible for people to change their minds about the direction they are going?  Yes it is.  Not US but YOU In fact people who have open minds and can actually change their opinions to  ours are who we want representing our town and the people in it.  We would like to have people willing to listen to dissenting opinions and through discussion, they can change their minds.  There is no one way to address a problem.  Successful people are the ones who are able to listen to OUR reason and change with the times. We will continue to hate you until you think like us

We hope that the candidates that are voted into office are these types of people.  People who refuse to think like us are not the types of people who should be leading people. Phoenicia requires a sewer.  We know this, let’s have a vote on it town wide, since ONLY THE TAXPAYER WHO LIVE IN THE SPECIAL PHOENICIA  SEWER DISTRICT WILL PAY FOR IT.  That’s how dumb we are.

Government needs to stop spending money without the majority of the board’s approval, even though that’s how our government is set up, That’s how dumb we are. Pete this means you have to do what we say. Or we will continue to say you opened sealed bids, had shady dealings and more meetings with just the democrats or just the republicans of the board.

These above issues are just some of the issues that have come up.  We will make up more when you win.

We do not understand your tactics, we do not understand who your advisers are or what their individual agenda’s are.  This is why we have been writing.  We actually do not blame you for not answering us Peter.  Who would answer a small group of taxpayers, who wrote such nasty stuff on the internet, Who would think you wouldn’t post a comment or two. Who would think you wouldn’t be our friend. That’s how dumb we are.

Do we all not want the same things?  We want the town to move forward to the resort  We want cell service, despite Caveman Chucks rantings. we want civility “rozzitz style” in town board meetings, we want honesty and caring from the members of the board, like Joan Larry-blower demonstrates, we want the open, transparent and truthful government that was promised, Like Boob Crosss showed us.  Is this too much to ask?

We are grown human beings, we are fathers and mothers, we are professionals and we are laborers, We are assholes. We can’t ask real questions. We have to be really mean and hide behind anonymous blogs. We are sure it will bring us fans and victory. That’s how dumb we are.

We will take flack from this article from another small group of taxpayers who have also decided to voice their opinions in blogs.  These people will attempt to destroy us by posting the same article with the words changed.  These opponents use their words not to incite change but to continue carry on the nasty mission we started..  They are against any dissenting voices and will not stop until they win.  Their tactics are useful in defeating people who are easily scared.  We are not easily scared.  They can take our homes, they can have our stuff, but they will never take our freedom.  We will continue to post our articles until we die.  Tyranny comes in many forms and this small band of tyrants that oppose us shall not succeed in threatening us. We are really paranoid, we think you will take our homes because we blog. That’s how dumb we are.

You can tell the character of people by how foolish they allow themselves to look. Just look at us, if you haven’t figured out what assholes we are by now, well, you never will. Guess you’re one of us! . That’s how dumb we are.

Separated at Birth HaHAhahahHahahahaha

REALLY?

Rob Stankley tells parents worried by the Rec Programs to 'go to hell'

Parents who think the Rec program is too unstructured for children can "go to hell", the candidate has said. "I've been committed to this program for years," he added.

The parents have pointed out that you can't survey the children to gauge what they want in the program as Stankley did. "They need structure, they need boundaries, you can't let them run wild for six weeks," they stressed. They also questioned why the children were required to wear T-shirts advertising Stankley's plumbing business. "He turned my child into a walking billboard," one parent pointed out.

The parents questioned his ability to be in charge of the rec program. They had lists of issues ranging from sunburns to lost children to bickering councilors.

"I would tell them to go to hell," Stankley said. And if children can't handle the program, they should "go home," he added. "Or wet your pants. Do whatever you like. But it's not a question that can be answered."

I am Rob. Hear me roar.

My children were threatened.... ah....no they weren't.... ah...I made that up....ah..... it was a drug rumor at the school.....ah.....nothing to do with the Shandaken election.........ah........did it make you want to vote for me......ah....I would be a good supervisor..........ah....I'm divorced......ah....no I'm not....ah...did you see the new handicapped bathrooms....ah....No you didn't.....ah...I never said  that...ah....I am outraged....ah....No  I'm not..............RRRRWWWWRRRR

Poll predicts election

98 % agree! 

Shandaken is true blue!

A Tale of Town Taxes or My $Green$ Acres

or How to Not Pay Taxes by Glarry Failes

A certain SMartie has been trying her best to to point out the lack of revenue coming into the town. We are glad she is worried. We would like to point out that a certain Glarry donated 3 landlocked acres  to the Town in hope they would use the Good Neighbor fund for a Discover water pool or some crap. He commanded they begin construction in three years or he wanted his very valuable land back. Glarry did not take his land back, even though Shandaken's dreams of becoming coveted host to the World's Dumbest Water Park were trashed when it washed out over the line to Delaware County. No, he let the land remain deeded to the town another 6 years. Then when his friend didn't get elected he  was afraid the town would use it for a transfer station or a dog run or something else useful.  He couldn't have that, Deannie might get mad, so he went to the town board and got it back, then sold it to *his* company for $55000.00, yeah for 3 crappy landlocked acres. When other investors were loosing money he was still cashing in. WHO cares the reader asks? That's the free market, Well, Helena would just like to point out that the 9 years this $Green$ Acres was deeded to the town SMartie and Glarry didn't pay the average oh $600 or so yearly taxes. Took the taxpayers for what $5600.00 dollars. I say we all donate our abodes to the town, with a time limit and a conditional use clause and get out of paying our taxes too.

Other people need help more than we do

Political Blogs and websites are nothing new to Shandaken
One person put up documents that were public information, to save the neighbors and lazy press of having to go all the way to the county offices themselves. So instead of praising this green initiative, this person  was accused of trashing the public servant named in the documents for... oh what was it, oh... SELLING A LOW INCOME APARTMENT BUILDING THAT WAS REFURBISHED WITH TAXPAYER FUNDS TO HER DAUGHTER.

Another one of Shandaken's finest, a "I gotta get me a piece" officer also tried their hand at blogging. But ya know when you are protecting the people, it is never a good idea to trash them on the internet and put up their personal information, so he hit the ol' delete button.
Now we have someone who is sure to be the next Hamlet hero, Please look at what one of the Planners Extraordinaire has come up with

Gerry's burning questions 

Don't forget to click on each item for exciting information!

And now for something completely different...NOT

Has the Shandaken Truth gone the way of the Townsman?
A loyal follower sent in this little tidbit via email...

The new news.

We have taken a break from writing, to read the other blogs that clearly have plagiarized this site and Shandaken Unplugged. We wanted to review the stories and see if we too had crossed the line of decency.

Well, we here at “The Shandaken Truth”, went back and noticed that we hadn’t crossed the lines from decency to pure unrivaled hate. “The Shandaken Truth” talked about the issues, poked fun at our opponent

but still treated them with a modicum of respect.
However we have deleted all of our postings so that we can say we never crossed the line but unless someone archived everything daily, no one could ever go back and prove we were in fact Royal Bastards to the umpteenth degree. We will just keep repeating that we never said anything slanderous or bullying or defamatory or libelous until our little brains and everyone else believes it.
Sincerely, the assholes at THE shandaken truth

this no name pussy is scared

Why this lifelong Republican will vote for the other side.

I can't help myself. So strong is my belief that we've failed in our responsibility to Shandaken that I am contemplating voting for  Democratic candidates for the first time in my life. I read the Republican blog  The Shandaken truth and tag team blog All that is wrong with Shandaken, both which have been posting since June, with utter disgust. I can not conscientiously vote for my own party when my party leaders behave like this. They continue to attack and have no sense of humor. They have joined every charitable group that are now falling apart because of the partisan bickering. Look at the Shandaken Republican Committee, it is in shambles. It is with a heavy heart that I turn by back on my beloved party. It saddens me.  This would never have happened with leadership like Neil Grant.

Sent by email.
Name has been removed by request.

Sharp to to host psychic fair

Following  on the economic success of the Phoenicia Plush Phestival, Buffy Kobe has again teamed up with Councilman Rob Stankley to bring to Town a Psychic Fair. "We envision tents at various locations around Shandaken, with psychics competing against one another," Rob gushed, "No longer will be in the dark about our future!"
"So far," enthused Buffy " we have booked Gary Spivy, my longtime guru. He's amazing, go to his web site http://www.garyspivey.com  and you'll be a believer too!!" Kobe has also booked her group, which she co-founded, the  East Coast Paranormal Investigation Team.

Sing-ALong -- Follow the Bouncing Blob

Fat people got no reason
Fat people got no reason
Fat people got no reason
To live

They got fatty piggy hands
Fatty piggy eyes
They walk around
Tellin great big lies
They got fatty piggy noses
And fatty piggy teeth
They wear fatty shoes
On their nasty fatty feet

Well, I dont want no fat people
Dont want no fat people
Dont want no fat people
`round here

Fat people are just the same
As you and i
(a fool such as I)
All men are brothers
Until the day they die
(its a wonderful world)

Fat people got nobody
Fat people got nobody
Fat people got nobody
To love

They got fatty guts
That hang so low
You got to back up
Just to say hello
They got fatty piggy cars
That go beep, beep, beep
They got fatty piggy voices
Goin peep, peep, peep
They got grubby fatty fingers
And dirty fatty minds
Theyre gonna get you every time
Well, I dont want no fat people
Dont want no fat people
Dont want no fat people
round here
Sorry to R. Newman for not honoring short people.

Ah, the babies be cryin' now

HA HA HA HA HA HA    LET THE WILD RUMPUS START!

It's official

The people have voted. 69%  agree, the human sacrifice will be at the farmstand. So be it.
see more

Holey Moley!

Did you see the United Shandaken Party Campaign Car? Or is it Citizens for a Better Shandaken? Duh, whatever, I saw Patty Cakes, Jerk, Rob Bob , Jo Jo, Boob Kalb, Heavyhand Charlie, John Horny, and little girls pile out of the car like those clowns in the circus who keep coming and coming with Chairman Martie at the wheel. Quite the show... be careful, stay out of the way, they'll run you down.

NEW SOCIAL CLUB MEETS AT LIBRARY

The Shandaken Red Hat Society has been meeting for about 4 years now and are looking foward to their 5th anniversary Gala. Not pictured was Gerry Says-so and Al Pretenda who had previous commitments. These gals used to meet at a private home in Big Indian, but the club became so popular that they outgrew their space. Meetings are the second Thursday of the month at the Phoenicia Library

The Onteora School Budget 2009-2010

Gee Jack while your at it could ya cut this budget too??

BUDGET AT A GLANCE
Budget: .........$49,865,219
Budget-to-Budget
Increase:.................................$1,439,759
Percentage
Increase:...........................................3.42%
Anticipated Levy
Increase:...........................................6.38%

The Background onTiny Rice

I started to write a background on Tina Rice, I tried to be as mean as she, I just can't do it. I wanted to lambaste her, I just can't bring myself to do it.

I am not one that can just make shit up, as much as I want to be nasty to Ms. Rice, I just can't do it. It hurts me more then it will hurt her.

I feel sorry for Ms. Rice. She is such a lost soul. She shows hate for her fellow man because she hates herself. I don't know her personally because she can be so bitchy and miserable, I don't want to even be near her. She is nasty at town board meetings, booing and hissing in the audience when people don't agree with her views. She hangs around Rob Stanley, especially after town board meetings at the bar. They make jokes with sexual innuendos that make her sad inside because she knows Rob is revolted by her and only her friend because she is a vote. She is a big meanie and I feel sorry for her.

I don't know why we just can't stop party politics and just work together. Why do some people always have to attack others?

Again, there is nothing to report on. All the news that is fit to print is just the same crap regurgitated again and again.

Who's your Superman?

With the election quickly approaching and the plague that is the DiSclafunny administration coming to a close I thought it wise to sit down with a bottle of Courvoisier, and go over the list of attributes and deficits of the candidates. Only the Republikans as they are the only ones that count. It was enlightening. Please…enjoy.

Councilmen Candidates

Jack “Flash” Jordan

Employment: Former school administrator, part time ski instructor, semi-retired, collects a pension and returns to work periodically to make $550 per day at taxpayer expense.

Marital Status: Happily married to Kathy “I’m not really an Aley, but I keep my first husbands last name for political purposes” Jordan. Word about the Mrs.: She worked for the Onteora School district licking stamps or writing checks or something. Then the whole VoucherGate happened….seems pretty little miss was so distracted by her recent split with hubby #1 (not that there is anything wrong with divorce mind you, especially when you can retain the name to feel like you belong i.e. flo stankley) pretty miss wrote numerous checks to the same vendor for the same voucher, this error was discovered while she was writing check number 9 or 10 or forty-three, so now a sexually flustered pretty miss who couldn’t keep her eyes off the prize of new Interm “I make $550 a day and I have pretty blue eyes” Principal Jack, allegedly attempted to forge a voucher, but she got the date wrong, FOILED AGAIN (pun intended). Sooo what was the outcome? Kathy resigned after 27 yrs of service to the school district, but not because she wasted taxpayer money and had no idea what she was doing (only teachers have skills) but because during a meeting with the school board they made her cry, ruining her make up and chance to date Jack, as he only dates girls as pretty as he. Well she fixed her makeup during her new found unemployment, married Jack and she never has to work again. Don’t you kids love a happy ending??

Attributes: Jack has been on the scene locally watching the travesty unfold before our eyes. Jack’s background in administration on a large scale more than qualifies him for the day to day administration of a small town. Jack knows his way around a FOIL request and is not afraid to spend millions and millions of dollars all over again, even when he is asked the tough questions over it he just screams “TEACHERS ARE WORTH EVERY DOLLAR THEY MAKE!!! THEY WENT TO COLLEGE AND THEY HAVE SKILLS “ and knows he doesn’t have to explain the 50 million dollar school budget, that’s the only answer you bitches will get. He and his wife are active in local civic events and enjoy outdoor activities when time allows. Jack has taken the time to study cosmetology and grooming. Wore a tie to the last town board meeting in a very professional way. Jack has pretty blue eyes. Come on, like you never noticed, Bitches!

Deficits: Jack is not as well known as some of the other candidates. In fact he has lived in Pine Hill for like 30 yrs and not one person in the hamlet knows who the bejeezus he is. He needs to get out more in the public eye and not just at board meetings. Unless he and pretty miss bring their beauty supplies to town board meetings and give free makeovers. People would remember that!

Superpower: Has the ability to sit in the front row at Town Board meetings and control the thoughts of the audience; “do not bring up school taxes, focus on the small portion of the tax bill Peter can budget, do not bring up the 50 million Onteora spends yearly. He is also behind Chuck Perez and his ability to twitch uncontrollably. Also has above average what’s left of my haircut. Ahh the list goes on.

Pat Ellison

Employment: She gets paid while others merely volunteer. While on the Phoenicia Sewer Committee she got paid $700 to write the By-Laws, which her friend Boob Cross promptly never passed. Currently a practicing attorney. Well, she is beyond practice at this point, she probably has it all down-pat by now. Down pat? sounds kinky. say that three times fast.

Marital Status: Single and LOVING it! Girlfriend is one bitchin’ catch for any upwardly mobile professional, mentally stable man. Translation; Last time she was on a date, Jerry Say-so had no man-boobs.

Attributes: Her knowledge of Law can be a benefit in keeping the town from its current trend of a continued ability to rack up legal fees and place them on the shoulders of the tax payers, unless it’s to write totally useless by-laws. Pat is a resident of Phoenicia and has been active in the community for some time. A former member and officer of the Shandaken Democratic Club, she has no problem presenting herself as a bleeding heart liberal, proclaiming parties should not cross endorse, then running on the Replublikan ticket. Which is why she is seeking an endorsement from parties other than her much loved but misunderstood Democratic Party. Locally, Replublikan extremists have infiltrated and disrupted the calm and order of the once noble local party and have replaced it with vitriolic “nimbiciles “, pushing out the sane member's of the party. Their stance of “I am gonna push through the Belleayre Resort/Shandaken Ponzi Scheme that I bought into” attitude has made people like Pat realize that all residents, regardless of party affiliations, must work together to rid the town of the evil forces that are stopping us from recouping our investments. God, I hope her car is one of those transformers thingies and will turn into an idiot detector/dispatcher.

Deficits: Just as Jack, Pat is still not well known. Leave it to cross dressers to not get noticed. Pat needs to speak up more at town board meetings. She too, should get a make-over.

Superpower: She is a Shape-Shifter (see above) Rumor has it she used to be a man, baby. She also has the ability to have great hair everyday of the week while neglecting the rest of her body but her and girlfriend Kathy-J are working on that. She can ask retarded (not the down syndrome kind but the I have no ability to grow kind) questions at Town board meetings in a confusing yet intelligent sounding way that would make Rain Man proud.

Supervisor Candidate Rob Stanley aka da-Beast of Bellyayre

The following was taken from Rob’s own writings via his MySpace page. Fot those of you not down with the MySpace. It’s a website where the yuths and playahs go to hook up. This is just a portion. Click here to see more http://www.myspace.com/DearOlAuntie

Da Beast's Interests

General; Snow!! Skiing, snowboarding, snowblading; all of it

Heroes; Anyone who thinks "outside the box."

Da Beast's Details

Status: Divorced

Body type: 6' 0" / Athletic

Occupation: Plumber, Ski Instructor, Councilman, Playwright&DJ

Income: $60,000 to $75,000

Stanley's Plumbing
Shandaken, NY US
Plumber
Emerging Technologies & Upper Management

The end

Ok whatthefudge are “Emerging Technologies & Upper Management” ???

Stanley Plumbing Corporate Structure consist of Bob Stanley Sr. ,who is three fries short of a Happy Meal, Rob’s brother "whats his name" Stanley and Rob, when he shows up. (he doesn’t go to the icky jobs) That’s two and a half people on a good day and they spend most of that at Morra’s. So what are you upper managing??

Marital Status: Single and kickin’ it playah style (don’t tell his girlfriend, and don’t try to lay a hand on him either, she will cut you sideways, bitches!)

Attributes: He is “manpretty”. Don’t act like you don’t notice. His eyes are as blue as…well, as blue as Jack’s, frankly. Wait, they’re as blue as a bottle of Bombay Sapphire. Yes, Helena likes, she likes a lot. Bombay, that is, don’t get me in trouble with his lady friend. Anyhornydrunk, Rob has a pair of shorts that match his plaid shoes, he wore them every day this summer. The go well with his collection of Shandaken Day T-shirts. He also attends meetings that talk about getting grants. He even picks up the applications and gives them to other people. Just ask the museum director. He gave her one. She spent 40+ hours on it and he didn’t even help. Then he told people she didn’t call him. On any given day, you will find Rob skipping his regular job, and saying he is in between jobs, or saying he is doing councilman things. But really he is at the Pine Hill Arms drinking, or waiting for them to open. He hangs around Town Hall and tries to look smart. He addresses issues on a daily basis. He knows where the recreation balls are kept. Because he is active in Rec., get your mind out of the gutter! He knows where all the water lines are, can fix a leak, can recite Shakespeare, knows about T and A systems, can probably spell T and A too. Puts together the Shandaken Day events with lots of help. Works tirelessly on all town issues. Has no mustache guiding him just a cool little "soul patch", awesomely cool dude. Doesn’t take credit for shit other bitches do. Assists with Grant writing, contributes to numerous committees.He is an expert in Emerging Technologies & Upper Management. And a lot of other vauge stuff that fills lines and makes it sound like he does things. Accomplishes things like working at breaking down the system of cooperation to destroy his nemesis.Saves dollar bills for after golf activities.

Superpower: He might be Superman, I’ve never seen them both in the same place at the same time, and would you be able to recognize Rob without his hair products? Didn’t think so. Clark Kent, table for one?

So, have I given you enough to chew on?

Wait this just in from the Glenbrook Park Committee

We apologize to all handicapped people who thought there was a facility at Glenbrook park. We know it's been what 4, 6, 8 years since the Stankley's promised to git er done. We apologize to the engineer who got the blame from the Stankley's who said it was his fault or that they never got the drawings. They have had the drawings for what 4, 6, 8 years? We apologize to all the volunteers in town who have worked tirelessly to make the town a better place and are embarassed daily by the lack of handicapped bathrooms at Glenbrook. We apologize to the tax payers for the empty shell that should house finished handicapped bathrooms. We apologize to all good plumbers who now have a mark on their profession because of the Stankley's.

NO, WE ARE NOT OBSESSED

Some of the Motivational Posters Rob will Be hanging in Town Hall

Click picture to get closeup of hallway stalker

RaaaaaaaaH You are ALL Process Challenged!

Ok what in bloody blazes is going on with this story. Joan Larry-Blower is fanatical about Process, that much is true. Too bad she continues to attack the human animal more specifically Peter DiSclafani, his party, and anyone who opposes her views.

Joan try loving all animals yourself included.

You are a Public Relations nightmare. I feel sorry for Rupco. Hope you don't do for them what you did for M-Ark and Crossroad Ventures. Then again after everyone in Shandaken who invested in the resort goes belly up, you will have more poor people to help.

Is this the Monster that will bring down a SUPER Idiot?

So there is a rumor going around that the whole issue that Helena snuck to her beloved behbehs is a big fat bold faced lie. No big bad officials are questioning Peter and that there is no investigation. Pete-ard eluded at the last monthly meeting show (in his usual cocky way) that he knew of no such investigation. He tried to make Helena look like an liar liar, plastic pants on fire.

I am not upset, because I understand Peter's proabably has brain, and his knowledge curve makes him understand that when he is being questioned, it might not be a bad thing he takes into account who is questioning him. You see, in order to understand why Pete might think he is in trouble, you have to think like him. Allow Helena to decipher his knowledge curve for you with a few examples.

Example 1:

The Assistant Attorney General asks Peter if he knowingly committed a felony while serving the town in an official capacity.

What Peter hears: Peter doesn't hear this because it is a figment of Al's imagination

Example 2:
The Assistant AG asks Peter if he understands that selective enforcement is discrimination and grounds for legal action by the complainant and the Department of State.

What Peter hears: Peter doesn't hear this because it is a figment of Al's imagination

Example 3:

The Assistant AG asks Peter if he understands the difference between extortion and blackmail.

What Peter hears: Peter doesn't hear this because it is a figment of Al's imagination. Which Al the reader asks, Big Fat Al, Baby Hughey Al, or little Al who has taken his head outta Dean's ass to attend a few meetings lately?

Example 4:

The Assistant AG explains that Peter has been wrong by not following proper procedure and might have gotten himself in a bit of trouble with trying to pass an illegal law.

What Peter hears: Peter doesn't hear this because it is a figment of Al's imagination. The reader now asks why the hell am I reading this?to find out which Al? does not matter they do not have brains

See, it makes no sense at all to you or I (well, maybe not you, but I've just had my third Mango Mojito, so it's all starting to be clearer to me now) but to Peter, this all has meaning. The fact that someone is making up this stuff is amazing, is wierd. Never mind the people making this shit up have no idea what the Attorney General actually investigates



Al Higley will be remembered as the man who was a head of lettuce.

THE TEAMS ARE LINING UP

Press release
AP Shandaken NY;
Annual Shandaken Drag Queen Race:
The Drag Queen Race is one of the Shandaken's more prestigious events. Each year on the Tuesday before Election Day, thousands of spectators flock to the Phoenicia Eagle to to watch costumed drag queens show off their elaborate outfits before the race down Main Street. Following the race an informal block party, with food vendors and live music, lasts a few hours and attracts a diverse crowd.The race begins at 9 p.m. Participants gather as early as 6 p.m.

Fun for all ages! Not to be missed!



shandakentruth.blogspot.com


THE FIRST TEAM TO SIGN UP EVERY YEAR IS ALWAYS TEAM DEAN. THESE GUYS ARE SOOOOO DEDICATED

FEED ME

Whats with the lack of laundry skills