It was revealed this week that Rob Stankley has been dating someone who hasn't lived here very long. This would explain the reason for the abandonment of the newcomer fear retoric that has overshadowed recent elections. Many believed that the fact that Hack Jordan and his wife Kathy-"I just kept the name Aley after the Divorce" were sure to suffer if the recent campaign were to focus on how non-locals were screwing everything up. But an investigation this week revealed that Rob Stankley has been consorting with those who have even less of a relationship with locals than the Not-Aley-Jordans.
"Look you stupid people, Hillary Clinton had an Alien baby 20 yrs ago, no one cared" Stankly remarked " if I was a little extra-terrestrial hootchie-coo who does it hurt? My wife doesn't like me anymore"
"Splak dung oohh he stuperman ach wah yong epeee eeep wa drgunidn i cjd cdi pjwnc drei xncy " commented his date
"She's taking English classes, but as long as she can get me a drink with a wave of the hand, its all good"
When asked about up holding the law and the US constitution, Stankley stated he was elected to uphold the laws of shandaken, and even that was a gray area.
Constitution? some people(JLB) filled out absentee ballots for their sick husbands...makes you wonder who is sicker
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