Predictions and Predilections

 Looked into my crystal ball, and listened to the whispers from my beh beh's ghost father, channeled my cat, read my name in numerology and 
 presto 

new predictions from beautiful in my mind psychic  Helena. (with a little help from my gurus/loves of my life Gary Spivey and Rob.)

1. Tiny Rice, Rob's other squeeze 2.0, hired as Rob's new secretary (who else has the  stomach for Laurilyn and Pep Patti?)
2. Rob Stankley's mother hired as the Museum director.
3. Gittah pulls a swindle and leaves New York possibly to Maryland with the AIP land buyout money screwing his investors and partners.
4. The rumors spread by Flake Killin at the diner end with tragedy as someone is seriously hurt or killed.
5. Shandaken Day 2010 will have a whopping 100 attendees,  another failed economic stimulus picked up by the taxpayers touted by Rob.
   
6. Joan Larry Blower hired as the new social service director (she'll declare Shandaken poverty stricken to get Gittah his HUD grants for the SDEIS so he can get his money to blow town. Her house is triple mortgaged investing in his scheme!)
7. Police corruption claims are made as a huge illegal immigrant ring is uncovered in Pine Hill and Phoenicia.
8. Stankley pays the Buffster $12,000 to hang flower baskets in Phoenicia, another failed economic stimulus picked up by the taxpayers touted by Rob.
9. Jo Jo hired as new deputy clerk (Lauri will have a lot more to beat up on- really as in black and blue)
10. Jane Roszits hosts alien party with in depth explanations of what it is like to be probed.
11. Patty Cakes finally finds love (rumor has it she is meeting lots of hotties at the BLEU MOON while pole dancing)
12. Kathy Aley continues to be known by her former husband's last name and communicates how she wants Hack to vote or what to say via texting. He is strangely at a loss for words when she needs to leave town. (Wait for it! We saw this trick with Jane and Ward!)
13. An important public figure is revealed to be a member of a white supremacy movement with 2010 seeing a serious increase in racist attacks.
14. Buffy, Rob's other squeeze, gives Stankley more personal grants (for his house where his first family lives? to get his other girlfriend a green card? to paint his car plaid? to get a manly haircut? for the STD love shack?)
15. The new town board gives the go ahead for the Phoenicia sewer with Boris, Rob and Hack voting yes (Poor Rick and Mike really talked up Randy, who? How much will that sewer bill be? HOW MUCH?)
16. Denise and Rick Wiccerdella blow their gaskets.
17. Boob Kalb attempts to pay his delinquent tax bill with Big Indian wooden nickels.
18. Stankley spends $100,000 for a skate park using the good neighbor fund while bonding a new ambulance for 150,000 dollars paid out of taxpayers pockets.
19. Rick wiccerdella fired as water commissioner, replaced by Shandaken's  sweetheart Charlie Brazier.
    
20. The new town board makes the Crossroads project an Empire zone (I'm predicting February- how about you?)
21. The stock market fails again and the Smartie and Gary  G unable  to recover. (the empire zone will not help - too little too late, too bad Gittah left with the cash)
22. Corruption claims made as a huge illegal sex ring is uncovered as part of an investigation of Uncle Johnny and his cronies with rumors pointing to the court.
23. Al Pigley finally eats a piece of fruit from his own business and chokes on the rot.
24. No laws enforced fairly and equally in Shandaken.
25. The handicap bathrooms at Glenbrook Park promised by Stankley plumbers not finished.
26. Stankley bankrupts Shandaken and begs Patterson for a casino as part of his economic development vision (like the skate park, the flowers, the new town hall, the empire zone, the sewer) and as payback for his investment pals.
27. Vin, Tim and Boris three steps behind blurting out yes votes to anything just to seem like they know what's going on. 
28. From our readers SHARP folds, and the Buffster, unable to put herself up for adoption after royaly screwing over her own mother, starts ghostbusting full time
29. And this Rob usurps Mr. Clean, unquestionably, as THE most hated man in Shandaken holding the title through 2033
30. And this Tiny Rice has to be let go after five office chairs are broken and is replaced by Kathy Aley aka Hack Jordon's wifey who proceeds to do what she does best, pay the same voucher three and more times over. 
31. And this  Vin makes an announcement that he would like our votes making him volunteer of the year, Rob objects that he is the logical choice, Hack chimes in that he volunteers the most, only to be pushed aside by the Buffster who claims she is the hardest working girl. When asked what it is they have volunteered for? Vin tells of all the hours he spends at the diner talking politics, Rob points to the rec committee who he is liaison for, Hack spouts his work with the children at Onteora and the Buffster tells of all the seniors she has helped. The audience is stunned.Brain Powers has to boot up his laptop to read the dictionary meaning which flies directly over their heads. Beating of the chests and face to face roars ensue with the Buffster letting the first punch fly.