Arkville Water Discovery Center changes focus

Arkville NY; Garry Failles, the master mind behind The Water Discovery Center slated to open in Arkville NY announced this week the center has changed it's mission.
"Rather than push ahead with the mission we first came up with years ago, we decided instead to focus on what it really is, a steaming pile of bullshit" said Failles on tuesday.
For years Failles and his group have concentrated on ways to spend the million dollars in watershed "economic development" money awarded to the region from NYCDEP. Sadly they haven't even been able to update the website since 2008. While Farty Gailles, Garry's wife and 'Administrative manager to the chair' of the museum has had little problem spending cash on lunch meetings, trips to malls for scouting and the like, other members of the board have not met their obligations.
Glum Millerbeerdrunkard resigned from his post as Spandrunken Zoning Officer amid charges of porn watching in the office years ago. He then followed up with a DWI, that severly impacted his spending.
"Half of the economic decline in Shandaken is due to Glum no longer being belly up to the bar" said Mike Rackateera, local bar owner. "He used to spend thousands, now not so much"
"Its true" added Farty " why I was adding up receipts and after getting a lifetime membership to NAMBLA, Glum hasn't handed in any receipts since 2010."

A steaming pile of bullshit has replaced what was to be the Water Discovery Center

When asked about the other board members, both of the Failles admitted most of them jumped ship long ago. The last annual meeting was held in 2008, when they hung a fake sign on an empty Crossroads office next door to the Highmount PO for a night to impress non-local investors.

Since then, Garry says its all bullshit, He doesn't know if the Catskill Waterspread Organization, (which he says is just a front for the NYCDEP that wants to depopulate the area), will give them anymore funds.

"It's just as well, he spends all his time at the Emerskin, keeping that crap afloat" Farty complained.

"It's all bullshit" Garry laughed " I can't believe we are still getting away with spending all the investors money, not paying taxes. Those guys on Wall Street got nothing on us"



Stankley's new found moderaton made possible by the Guvnor

Stoopidvisor Stankley revealed a moderate increase to his budget unlike last years crushing 12% increase. In an interview, he veiled the real increase by stating the costs for flooding have not been tallied, leaving him an opening as wide as the flooding Esopus, when things go very very wrong, like they did in his last budget.

Stankley, not surprisingly, has yet to make good on the one and only campaign promise he made declaring he would enforce the laws of Shandaken, equally. In fact, he now says everyone in town is breaking snippets of the a law.

He also declared that Phoenicia is a flood plain, not worth saving and all commercial enterprises must move to route 28 whether or not it is legally rezoned.

In his last sad attempt to get reelected, Stankley made a desparate bid to seem intelligent by declaring he graduated sumos cum loud. When asked to provide proof, he looked bewildered and declared Beefy Kibe would vouch for him.

In unrelated news,  SHARP is again under investigation for giving flood victims pocket change and then declaring the flood funds depleted.

Stankley lashes out at vicious adultery rumor

SHANDAKEN Republican stoopidvisor Robert A-hole Stankley lashed out Wednesday at vicious allegations that he has been having an adulterous affair with a woman on his recreation board.

"I wanted to hold this press conference to say unambiguously that my girlfriends and I have  faithfully cheated on my wife for 12 years," Stankley said.

Stankley said he believed the story was being disseminated by a rival recreation campaign which he did not name.

"The core idea of this rumor campaign is that I have violated the vows that I made to my wife 18 years ago," Stankley said, "but as everyone knows I have remained with my present girlfriend throughout her pregnancy."

Stankley when on to declare that those were not puppy dog eyes he was making at the chair of the recreation board. Longtime former Chair, Tiny Lice, was heard to be whimpering in the back row.

Bar baby

Stoopidvisor Rob A-hole Stankley headed straight for the bar at the Bellyair bash Friday night. Free beer was obviously the drive that propelled his legs causing his undocumented Brazilian girlfriend to scamper behind. She was overheard pleading with Rob to please not spend the whole night on a bar stool. Where is Grandma when he's out drinking with her grandchild?
Murmurs of concern for the welfare of the infant grew as it was revealed he frequents other bars with baby in tow prompting a lively and surprising informative discussion about fetal alcohol syndrome and the benefits of early child development programs and head start. The discussion quickly dissolved into tea party "get your hands off my kid" diatribes and the child in the bar was forgotten.

Shandaken Stoopidvisor bought the farm

Allaben, NY. The Shandaken Stoopidvisor announced the recreation program field trip at the July meeting as "getting in touch with our inner farmstand".

The trip was free, as is all the recreation field trips and the recreation summer programs which mainly consist of letting kids get sun burned at Bellyair beach or the winter program of skiing, in what Stankley touts as super special, though all the surrounding towns are offered the same deal from the ski area. Free, as in, your taxes paid for that.

Missy Weaken, 54, Pine Hill, declared the parents were standing in the parking lot since the crack of dawn which she thought was odd since she saw the Stankley stumbling home at 4am pushing an infant in a stroller after coming out of a main street bar. "As I recall, parents had to wait for hours for Stankley to get his ass on the bus last year. I can't believe they let him do it to them again," she chuckled.

Off the record, the bus driver said the chirren are made to wait hours and have missed the boat,  the actual Circleline boat, since Stankley got involved with the recreation committee field trips.

"It used to be first come, first serve until Rob took control and started saving seats for his family and their friends. One year after the "entitled" got on board, there were only two seats left," claimed Jane Rozzbitch,102, Shandaken," luckily my great grandchild was BFF with Rob's son's BF, who got a seat for bringing candy."

Parents were grumbling by the time Stankley arrived looking like he slept in the gutter.

"We yanked our kids out of bed in the dark to do this trip. Some parents flashed the bus driver some green to start rolling without him," snorted Jim Baggins, 40, Phoenicia.

I have never met Rob," Carole Naiveity, 32, of Bushnellsville stated, "What I saw was frightening and he smelled like the bottom of an old shoe."

When Stankley finally climbed on board, he promised the children they would see the most wondrous farm owned by his favorite local business man. He then asked everyone to sing "Old man Piggley has a farm, e, i, e, i, ooooo" which put everyone in a temporary better mood.

The bus traveled down Route 28,over the Rhinebeck bridge and that is when the confusion began.

"I never was tole where we was goin',"declared the bus driver," I was tole the Stoopidvisor was the man in charge and he would tell me where to go."

The bus apparently went all around Red Hook, doubling back several times and then traveled to the Taconic reaching almost to Westchester before turning around.

"Whenever a road appeared, Rob tole me to take it. This must be were the farm is, he'd say, take that road!," he explained. "It prally woodn't have gotten so bad if he wooda stopped singin that damn song."

As part of the field trips perks the children and parents were promised a farm fresh lunch as part Piggley"s commitment to the farm to school initiative.

"You know it was getting dark and Rob would not admit he was wrong or had been duped, he just kept saying, 'He told me he had a farm' between bouts of singing that damn song," said Sally Wright, 24, Woodland Valley."He was deranged."

The parents and children were exhausted and hungry from traveling in circles all day long with no food or beverages on board.

"I've known Rob for ages, he lies. There! I've said it," remarked June LaSnarka, 98, Big Indian.

"What was astonishing was he could not believe someone lied to him, when I've never told him the truth", smirked Nancy Smites, 98, Pine Hill.

When the bus arrived back in Shandaken around midnight, the parents were tight lipped and said what happened on the bus stays on the bus .

The only person willing to comment was the bus driver, "The little tykes would have been happy to see a rusted out tractor. It's a shame what happened to Rob when he wanted to stop at Piggley's all night store in Mount Tremper.", he muttered shaking his head. "The guy is clueless."

Wannabe

Ulster County, NY— Shandaken Town Stoopidvisor, Robert A.-hole Stankley, has endorsed Mike Hein for a second term as Ulster County Executive.  Stoopidvisor Stanley’s endorsement joined a growing list of Town Supervisors.  All of the Democratic Supervisors that have already endorsed Mike Hein for County Executive and this is the third Republican Town Supervisor to jump on the bandwagon.

“As Town of Shandaken Stoopidvisor Stanley’s, I wholeheartedly endorse Mike Hein for re-election as Ulster County Executive,” said Shandaken Town Stoopidvisor Stanley’s Robert A.-hole Stanley.  Mike and his staff have been readily accessible and eager to assist in the inconsequential issues Shandaken has faced over my term, though nada actually gets resolved. Whether the issue involved job losses at the Resort/Spa and economic effects of the cuts that improved Belleayre Mountain, minor sidewalk flooding in Main St., Phoenicia, or other petty issues concerning the NYC DEP, Mike personally has kept himself abreast (teehee) of our issues and is genuinely concerned for the well being and betterment of our residents and businesses, although he has offered nada to remedy anything. He has personally been involved in many of our late night discussions with other agencies in our area and has been supportive of my perspective when push has come to shove on these issues, though nada has come from all this yapping, shoving, and bonding. I am happy to bend over to endorse Mike for a second term and look forward to continuing to foster the relationship he has established with me and I hope by linking my name with his, I'll get re-elected by the clueless Democrats."

I think Republican Stoopidvisor Stanley’s Stanley’s endorsement, is hilarious as I am the only one running and the Democrats rule Ulster County,” said Mike Hein.  “I remain committed to serving all of the residents of Ulster County, even idiots like Stankley.  We live in an incredibly diverse, beautiful and geographically large community and, I am honored to serve as County Executive.”

This is not satire.

Daniel, carrying the town's comprehensive plan document, was present to represent Alfred Higley at an "informational meeting" on re-zoning Route 28 from residential to commercial, held by the Town Board. Dan abruptly left in the middle of the meeting after apparently discerning the truth and wishing to distance himself from fools. The look on Higley and his other legal representation Pat Ellison was of incredulous disbelief. Priceless.
Super Lawyer Daniel G. Heppner

This Just In...

A woman who works at a local resort has sited John Porn visiting cheerleader camps. His last known camp was in Gilboa. Please be advised.

Plans On Hold

In a phone interview, Phat Elison spoke with a heavy heart," I tried to to get people to see that we needed route 28 to be commercially zoned but they could not see what is best for them." Elison went on to say she had found an investor for her new enterprise and she could not beleive she had to look for a new location. Having had her heart set on the entrance to the town, she wasn't sure if her business would be viable elsewhere in town. "I had a name picked out and everything. I even promised my biggest supporter the first dance," she sniffed. Elison, because of the economic downturn joined Joanna Klabb as a dancer in the Blue Moon to make ends meet. "I was mortified the first time out  but then the attention I got was riveting and I was hooked," she bragged. Elison said that for now her plans of opening a club are on hold. Elison is the former chairman of the Adult Recreation committee who was charged by the town with writing a law concerning strip clubs.

Stankley and Jordon to be arrested

ALLABEN- The Associated Mess

The Shandaken Stoopidvisor, Rob Stankley, 49, will be arrested and charged with corruption in trading political favors for over $30,000 of gifts from a real estate developer seeking zoning changes and for taking $12,000 in campaign contributions.

Ulster County prosecutors will charge  Stankley with three counts of unlawful compensation, four counts of official misconduct, and one count each of grand theft, petty theft, conspiracy to commit unlawful compensation, and perjury.

The charges center on Stankley's involvement in the rezoning attempt of land owned by controversial developer Scary Gailles and hiding it in the guise of rezoning route 28 for farmstands. At this time, Gailles is seeking a zoning change on land that will enable him to build large luxury-style homes and a spa hotel with golf course.

While Stankey serves on the town board that is responsible for granting the approvals, prosecutors say that Gaille's business partner, Dean Gutter, ordered subcontractors to make improvements at the Shandaken home shared by Stankley and his wife.

Gailles, 64, a former manager of exotic bar business, The Boy Store, was also be arrested and charged with one count of perjury.

Authorities say that subcontractors will install a new toilet, a surround sound system, special pool lighting, fencing, pavers and do air conditioning repair work. The improvements will be done after Stankley votes to grant Gailles the zoning changes on Route 28 and subsequent other areas.

Prosecutors said that when investigators asked about the work to be done at his home, he lied about it and denied being married.

Al Piggley, Gailles other corruption, said he will fight the charges. “Any work that is done is a personal favor between friends and there was absolutely no quid pro quo. Any favors that are done for him by his friends are not given in exchange for an official act.”

Stankley, a registered Republican, is on the town council for six years until the end of his term in 2011. While on the the board, critics said that he used his elected position to solicit a $34,000 grant for his home from SHARP, which is also under investigation.

In addition to Stankley, to be arrested and charged are Councilman Jerkoff Jordon, for corruption in trading political favors for $10,000 of gifts from a real estate developer seeking zoning changes and for accepting $12,000 in campaign contributions.

Both Stankley and Jordon promised to enforce the town laws equally while taking funds from developer Gailles who footed the bill for their campaign. The trial is slated for September.

Boob versus the Baby

Ex-Stoopidvisor Boob Cross announced his candiacy for Stoopidviser and Highway Superman today. He declared he will win either one or the other in a primary in Shandaken. When asked to comment Stoopidvisor Stankley smirked and said he already has all the parties nominations. "Nobody cares about anything except Dean Gutter," he smirked, " Nobody has the balls to run against me." Stankley went on to pronounce that he would be carrying his baby with him throughout the  campaign since it is well known that humans are conditioned to love babies or else they would bash them against the wall if they cried one more time. "All the old people will forget about all the shit I've done and will just remember the cute baby," he chuckled. " It's how I plan on getting rid of the zoning codes." Stankey showed a box full of t-shirts with the baby's picture on them that he plans on handing out as "gifts" to voters. "Boob Cross and I are exactly alike," he chortled, "We both adore the Belly Air project, will force Phoenicia to get the sewer, will zone all of Rte. 28 commercial, are fat alcoholics, except Boob has no baby! Man, I love using my kids. Look how it worked last time."

Not ready for Prime Time

Townspeople expressed dismay in Phoenicia this week that the town board meeting was not aired. When asked, Stoopidviser Rob Stankley said he ordered public access TV off the air during the Town Board meeting. "You can watch it at a later date for now but we will not broadcast live, " he declared. According to Stankley his acting coach said he was not ready for prime time. "She told me I let a couple of audience members get the best of me and in an election year that is not a good thing." He further explained that less and less people will watch the meetings if they are shown at a later date so all in all that is helpful if people just let him do what he thinks is best. "Look, I raised the taxes a whopping 12 percent and told everybody it was out of their pocket as a mere 5% and not one reporter wrote about the huge increase," he chuckled. Stankley said the key is to keep information blurred. He went on to say that although he loves the camera, it is best if everyone is left in the dark when it comes to town business. "Just look at the town website," he smirked, " I write about everything but town business and nobody says a word. Read about contests and firehouse breakfasts but nothing about what I don't want to be telling you." Stankley then asked if his picture was going to be taken and mugged for the shot.

Lack of interest

Following the passage of the birdbrain parks and recreation board idea, Stoopidvisor Stankley scrambled to fill the newly created five positions. No brainer Piss Fischer was a political appointment revolving around the infighting about ute soccer. "The shandaken utes belong in shandaken not weirdstock," Fisher declared with Stankley quickly kissing Fishers ass over the apparent distress of Feather "I got playground equipment for my kids even though the school's playground is around the corner" Roberts. Fisher was the man behind grabbing the park for his business refusing to let the children use the park during the great soccer war revolving around the extremely controversial use of Dean Gutter's land. Roberts was named park marshall of Perish field so she can further the recreation opportunities in what her kid called "my back yard". James Cougar was named to care for the Pine hill park much to the surprise and dismay of Craig Alpomeato, an advocate of anything that he can use in his business to promote his business. The depth of the lack of interest in the new board was most apparent in the naming of pathetic "I am too going to build a resort and waterpark someday" Farty Gailles to the Big Indian park. Farty insisted she was the right person following her  planting flowers on the roadside and picking up the trash thrown out the car window by her husband Scary and the rest of the Belly Air partners. Lastly, Stankley put his own mother on the board to retain influence over the board. When asked if his father was ever going to honor his promise of finishing the handicap bathrooms in glenbrook park Stankey snickered, "Ma will make him. Once she gets going, you can't shut her up. I bet he'll never want to go home." Stankley Plumbing promised to do the bathrooms for free as a campaign promise when Stankley ran as councilman  seven years ago. The park board is charged with keeping the dog poop down to a manageable amount.

library?

In an interview using the Phoenicia library tragedy as a photo op, Stoopidvisor Stankley was stumped when asked what was lost in the fire.
"The sign on the building says there is a fishing collection here, so obviously that, er I don't know, I've never set foot in that building. I've actually never been on this side of town, I hang out at the bar down the street. Now, a fire there, that would have been a devastating loss," he mumbled shaking his head.
Stankley appeared to be disoriented either by his unfamiliarity of location or the fact that Phoenicia had a library or the lack of a drink in his hand at the late hour of 9am.
Library card holders have vowed to rebuild, despite the Stoopidvisor's lack of interest.
The board will be holding a meeting to determine what needs to be done, the library board that is.

Citizen's of Shandaken,

Please be advised no roads are closed, there is no flooding.
We are in a STATE OF EMERGENCY. No bridges are out, no roads are washed out, no one is in a ditch. All available manpower is ordered out to watch the creek rise and receed at great expense to the town. All fire trucks and ambulances are ordered to drive around and around town. We had no earthquake. We had no flooding. We had no hurricane. We had no tsunami. Go to Belleayre to evacuate yourself. We are in a STATE OF EMERGENCY.
Be safe,
Stoopidvisor Stankley

Shut up!

The meltdown began when Stoopidvisor Stankley accused Merry Vermin of refusing to give up her Facebook password. Stankley demanded  the town lawyer get passwords from all accounts that have any of the twelve hamlets in their names, but only if a woman put up the page. " I'm outraged I don't have control," he spewed, "Bitches be writin' about the town without my authority." When questioned about the cost to taxpayers in lawyer fees Stankey shrugged. As to the allegations of calling the State police to aid him in his misguided mission, Stankey shrugged. Vermin asked Stankely why he could not "man up" and pick up the phone to simply call her. Stankley was unable to respond. The town board has turned a blind eye to Stankley's harassment of females. Stankley has a long troubled history with women. Stankley's current campaign against women possibly stems from his abuse by the town clerk, though rumors are unverified.

What plan?

As reported in the Weirdstock Times, Stoopidvisor Stankley failed to file the correct report to the DEC regarding Phoenica flooding.
A DEC spokesperson said Stankley filed for a 24 to 36 hour emergency permit seeking help three months after the incident. "It is our understanding he is telling the townspeople it is our fault," the spokesperson said, " And other papers are reporting it thus."
Other than disparaging the Agency, Stankley has repeatedly remarked about  short, mid and long term plans. When asked about these plans, Stankley bristled and yelled at the Phoenicia resident that he works hard without answering her query. Highway Super Erich Halfmister joined in berating the woman yelling, " Are you saying we don't work?."

Ghost Hunters to film in Phoenicia NY

Phoenicia NY February 1, 2010, The widely acclaimed show Ghost Hunterz is scheduled to film in Phoenicia NY this spring. The subject of the episode will be the SHARPY committee on Main St. in the Hamlet.

There is little activity at the committee’s headquarters in Phoenicia NY these days. In recent years all of the low income housing has been sold off. Grants for heating were depleated in the 1990’s redoing kitchens and other cosmetic remedies to make residents feel better. At a recent round table SHARP Board members, Director Snide and residents discussed SHARPs role in the community.

According to Snide “One ladies son died so we gave her new cabinets. And then our current Supervisor, Rob Stankley left his wife for a string of drunken one-nighters so we redid her house. He still owns it with her so if he ever sobers up he can cash in. We hear he has a new anchor baby with an illegal so we were looking for some funds to redo the nursery. Then we found out the apartment is so small the baby sleeps in the bathtub with the goats so we put that on hold. “

On the subject of Ghost Hunting, Snide lamented, “ It was once one of my favorite activities and I am hoping this will jump start my career in that field again. Obviously SHARP is on it’s last legs. A few times I have come into the office and heard voices.’ HEEEEEEET, HEEEEEEEEET’ they seem to be moaning. there is a legend that a woman in Woodland was turned down for a loan after she voted democrat who froze to death, but we have been unable to substantiate that.

“We are very excited for this opportunity” Said Jackoff Jordan in an interview Monday. “The SHARPEY committee is just an apparition as far as agencies that serve the public go, so going with the phantom theory fits right in. At this point in time SHARP barely exists”

“ I agree” stated fellow board member Joanne Klabb “ why Buffy and were just talking the other day how funds disappeared faster than our collective sex appeal last year”

“Yes” Buffy concurred “I can’t remember the last time I had a grant approved or an orgasm for that matter. Well unless you count that time I was grooming the cat. But seriously, I am just rehashing the same old grant we had last year cause we never gave out any money”

“True” stated Phoenica resident Ima Freizen , 77, “Last year I was heating my home with a sterno and newspaper logs and SHARP refused to help me. They said I had to count all that free food I got from Sleez Smith as income so I didn’t qualify. Even after I deducted the stuff that was rotten! This year I stopped taking the food, after all, how many stale pies can you eat? No Jackoff! I won’t ask John Porn that one!! Anyway I have no more unread newspaper supply since the Phoenicia, er, I mean Communist Times went under so maybe I will get some help this year.”

“Ha ha, I doubt that” Buffy replied “we have just enough money in the budget to pay the salary I pretend I earn before we look to sell off our remaining assets”

The RESTORE (Residential Services To Offer Repairs to the Elderly) Program will offer services to income eligible homeowners aged 60 years and older for emergency repairs needed for issues such as, but not limited to: heating, electrical and water system failures, roofing repairs and other situations that require immediate attention. Assistance of up to $5,000.00 per home will be available beginning in February 2011.

BIG INDIAN MAN SUFFERS FROM SEVERE CASE OF EGG ON FACE

SHANDAKEN NY AP-“It began shortly after I received my 2011 tax bill” stated Chick Perrez , resident of the hamlet of Big Indian in Shandaken. “I was aware strange things happened in this place ever since they named it after that wife stealing dude who got murdered. But never anything like this”

This reporter was astonished to see the scrambled egg like substance that was adhered to Perrez’s face like spackle. Told doctors were baffled by the substance, Perrez turned to the media hoping the publicity would reach someone who knew what it was, turned out he only needed to cross the street.

A dozen yards away at Moron’s Market, long time fixture Boob Stankley Sr was all too familiar with such an affliction. “ I came down with a bad case of it myself when I convinced my friends to invest in the Bellyup resort. They gave Gittah and Scarey Gales thousands of their hard earned retirement money, thinking they would double it in two yrs. geez it’s more like 11 and their investment is a memory, never to be seen again. I couldn’t leave the house for weeks! “

At first Perrez ezplained he thought it was just a bad case of drool . “I woke up one morning and there was this slime all over my face. I thought I had a heavy drool night like I often do, and maybe rolled around in it. I washed up, and it kept coming back, like one of those Brazilian religious statues that’s always dripping. Turned out to be egg. "

Reflecting on his recent activities he realized that last November he had gone to the Town of Shandaken  Budget Hearing and thanked Stupidvisor Stankley for his tax increase. “ I didn’t really consider what a douche I was being. Last year I screamed at Disclafunny for a 2 % increase. Told him it should have been a 2% decrease. All those people who invested in the resort are losing their houses!”

“But I admit I did thank Stankley for raising my taxes” Chick lamented “ but it wasn’t so bad like what like 6, 7, 8, or 9 % or something. But geez when the tax bills came and it was almost 12% that’s when it hit me.  Boy oh boy I am a freaking moron! No wonder my wife doesn’t let me out. Who thanks someone as untrustworthy as Stankley for raising their taxes? and its not like those other bozos on the board watch what he is doing. I tried to call Jacoff Jorden but he insist on using his cell phone for all town business so he only answers when he is skiing or en route to Kingston. “

When asked what the prognosis was Chick answered “ Well, at first it was runny like snot, but now its kind of cakey.Luckily it can be chipped away at. Tastes good too if you can get past the hint of motor oil. You know, I am pretty much the most pussy whipped guy in the valley,so I am used to my wife chewing my head off. I am in so much deep shit, she has had no problem letting loose on me and keeping the growth down but she is getting a little fat. Tiny Rice has been a big help too, can't ever satisfy her appitite, but she gets a little too close to the bone if you know what I mean. But I will just lay low, and try and redeem myself, adopt a kitten or one of those little kids on T V that cost fifty cents a day. It should clear up by spring, Boob Stankley said so."

Father-to-be misses birth of his child after falling down drunk on way to delivery room

Nurses said Rob Stankley was drinking cough syrup before being caught.

He later missed the birth of his third child after falling down drunk on the way to the delivery room.

Officials said Stankley stumbled into the Nurse Draper as she wheeled his girlfriend into the delivery room.

The 45 year old had told the nurse he was thirsty then reached round her in an attempt to grab rubbing alcohol.

When later asked about his actions he said he had blacked out and had absolutely no idea why he was at the hospital.

Nurses confirmed that he missed the birth of his third child.

Nurse Draper said Stankley threated to barf all over the delivery room floor if his
girlfriend, giving birth at  the time, did not stop to rub his belly.

'He commented that he was the pretty one and his needs came first' the nurse said.

After the second time passing out, the girlfriend grunted that he was just drunk.

Draper said it is unclear whether Stankley drove to the hospital intoxicated or if he was
taken there by someone else.

Later, Stankley "under the weather" and apparently unable to work, stated in a phone converstion, he didn't understand what the big deal was since he missed the birth of his other children with his wife and why would it be any different with his girlfriend.

Stankley's wife refused comment.

Sham remark may jeopardize permits

Stoopidvisor Stanley had attended the recent hearing on the Department of Environmental Conservation’s plan to cut more than 45 full-time jobs at Bellieayre, making them only seasonal, part-time positions. He told the crowd at the Bellieayre rally that in his opinion it was embarrassing to see Department of Environmental Conservation officials be so ignorant of their department’s policies and the effects of those polices.

“It was a sham,” he said.

Days later Stanley told an almost empty town board meeting that he was tentatively waiting to hear from the DEC about dredging permits that he and the town's highway superintendent  Erich Halfmeister applied for on behalf of Phoenicia.

A DEC spokesman who asked to remain anonymous stated that he and his co-workers needed much more time to review their department’s policies and the effects of those polices, especially in light of Stoopidvisor Stanley's remarks.

When asked how long his team would need, he pointed to a crated, dusty, 10,000 page document of which there is only one copy that 200 people need to read in order to be absolutely sure of their department’s policies and the effects of those polices. " We wouldn't want to be embarrassingly ignorant of our policies or be responsible for a sham," he stated.