Stankley's new found moderaton made possible by the Guvnor

Stoopidvisor Stankley revealed a moderate increase to his budget unlike last years crushing 12% increase. In an interview, he veiled the real increase by stating the costs for flooding have not been tallied, leaving him an opening as wide as the flooding Esopus, when things go very very wrong, like they did in his last budget.

Stankley, not surprisingly, has yet to make good on the one and only campaign promise he made declaring he would enforce the laws of Shandaken, equally. In fact, he now says everyone in town is breaking snippets of the a law.

He also declared that Phoenicia is a flood plain, not worth saving and all commercial enterprises must move to route 28 whether or not it is legally rezoned.

In his last sad attempt to get reelected, Stankley made a desparate bid to seem intelligent by declaring he graduated sumos cum loud. When asked to provide proof, he looked bewildered and declared Beefy Kibe would vouch for him.

In unrelated news,  SHARP is again under investigation for giving flood victims pocket change and then declaring the flood funds depleted.

Stankley lashes out at vicious adultery rumor

SHANDAKEN Republican stoopidvisor Robert A-hole Stankley lashed out Wednesday at vicious allegations that he has been having an adulterous affair with a woman on his recreation board.

"I wanted to hold this press conference to say unambiguously that my girlfriends and I have  faithfully cheated on my wife for 12 years," Stankley said.

Stankley said he believed the story was being disseminated by a rival recreation campaign which he did not name.

"The core idea of this rumor campaign is that I have violated the vows that I made to my wife 18 years ago," Stankley said, "but as everyone knows I have remained with my present girlfriend throughout her pregnancy."

Stankley when on to declare that those were not puppy dog eyes he was making at the chair of the recreation board. Longtime former Chair, Tiny Lice, was heard to be whimpering in the back row.