BELLEAYRE RESORT NOT DEAD, BUT STILL A DUMB IDEA

By JAYBIRD BRAINLESS Jr.
Corruptpundent

HIGHMOUNT — Crosseyes Ventures, the company proposing the controversial Belleayre Resort at Catskill Park, has announced the project is still controversial.

In a letter dated Monday, the principal hackers of the $400 million scam — Dean Gutter, Ken Posterchild and Emily “Deep Pockets” Funder — stated their desire to kind of refute what they called secret plans for the project’s demise. Gary Failes name was removed fron the clique in an expected attempt to distance him from the project as he is busy playing nice with the locals in Mt. Tremper.

“It has been a while since we coughed up any bullshit on Crosseyes’ progress to the community, and, in the absence of hard news, the inevitable rumors of our abandonment of the project and the Belleayre Resort’s demise have circulated,” they said.

It was February when Gutter, the driving force behind the proposed resort, unveiled a crayola and construction paper rendering of the latest concept for the project, representing the most recent and unlikely last of several transformations made to the plan, which first was announced in 1999. “Our investors are so dumb, we just rehash the same old crap in a different package and they buy it." Gutter chuckled, "Remember in May when we issued our last press release? The police chief took me out to dinner, good times, good times"

The renderings are part of the long-awaited supplemental environmental impact statement that Crosseyes needs to prepare. Gutter and his team have pretended to be working on that document for about 2-1/2 years.

Last week, Gutter and his partners said they need only a few more months to liquidate their assets and get out of town.

“In the coming few months, we expect to reinforce the belief that we plan to move forward in an effort to keep all those disgruntled investors satisfied. They actually believe we will be able, by the middle of next year, to present our plans to the planning boards of both Shandaken and Middletown,” they wrote.

Now, according to Gutter, the size has been reduced again. In fact he said it really doesn’t exist. “Actually this might just work.” he laughed” We plan to use the existing buildings next to Shimmy’s ski shop for our offices and just pretend we own Belleayre. We will then sell off time shares in properties we don’t own. Who’s going to know?"

Basically just sucking up to ‘richer than him’ homeowners in the Hardenburgh area about the project Gutter appears to have gone great lengths to make the structures as camouflaged as possible. Models built and on display in Gutter’s office show a design concept that shapes the hotel into the mountainside with “green roofs” made of vegetation. The houses would be "au naturale" also. When asked if the model was just the same old “Parsley Pancake” model he already introduced, the so-called developer got enraged and screamed some incoherent rambling about Ponzi Schemes and begging bowls. “I am a Visionary, a Luminary” he cried before having the reporter ejected by Little Al.