Plans On Hold

In a phone interview, Phat Elison spoke with a heavy heart," I tried to to get people to see that we needed route 28 to be commercially zoned but they could not see what is best for them." Elison went on to say she had found an investor for her new enterprise and she could not beleive she had to look for a new location. Having had her heart set on the entrance to the town, she wasn't sure if her business would be viable elsewhere in town. "I had a name picked out and everything. I even promised my biggest supporter the first dance," she sniffed. Elison, because of the economic downturn joined Joanna Klabb as a dancer in the Blue Moon to make ends meet. "I was mortified the first time out  but then the attention I got was riveting and I was hooked," she bragged. Elison said that for now her plans of opening a club are on hold. Elison is the former chairman of the Adult Recreation committee who was charged by the town with writing a law concerning strip clubs.

Stankley and Jordon to be arrested

ALLABEN- The Associated Mess

The Shandaken Stoopidvisor, Rob Stankley, 49, will be arrested and charged with corruption in trading political favors for over $30,000 of gifts from a real estate developer seeking zoning changes and for taking $12,000 in campaign contributions.

Ulster County prosecutors will charge  Stankley with three counts of unlawful compensation, four counts of official misconduct, and one count each of grand theft, petty theft, conspiracy to commit unlawful compensation, and perjury.

The charges center on Stankley's involvement in the rezoning attempt of land owned by controversial developer Scary Gailles and hiding it in the guise of rezoning route 28 for farmstands. At this time, Gailles is seeking a zoning change on land that will enable him to build large luxury-style homes and a spa hotel with golf course.

While Stankey serves on the town board that is responsible for granting the approvals, prosecutors say that Gaille's business partner, Dean Gutter, ordered subcontractors to make improvements at the Shandaken home shared by Stankley and his wife.

Gailles, 64, a former manager of exotic bar business, The Boy Store, was also be arrested and charged with one count of perjury.

Authorities say that subcontractors will install a new toilet, a surround sound system, special pool lighting, fencing, pavers and do air conditioning repair work. The improvements will be done after Stankley votes to grant Gailles the zoning changes on Route 28 and subsequent other areas.

Prosecutors said that when investigators asked about the work to be done at his home, he lied about it and denied being married.

Al Piggley, Gailles other corruption, said he will fight the charges. “Any work that is done is a personal favor between friends and there was absolutely no quid pro quo. Any favors that are done for him by his friends are not given in exchange for an official act.”

Stankley, a registered Republican, is on the town council for six years until the end of his term in 2011. While on the the board, critics said that he used his elected position to solicit a $34,000 grant for his home from SHARP, which is also under investigation.

In addition to Stankley, to be arrested and charged are Councilman Jerkoff Jordon, for corruption in trading political favors for $10,000 of gifts from a real estate developer seeking zoning changes and for accepting $12,000 in campaign contributions.

Both Stankley and Jordon promised to enforce the town laws equally while taking funds from developer Gailles who footed the bill for their campaign. The trial is slated for September.

Boob versus the Baby

Ex-Stoopidvisor Boob Cross announced his candiacy for Stoopidviser and Highway Superman today. He declared he will win either one or the other in a primary in Shandaken. When asked to comment Stoopidvisor Stankley smirked and said he already has all the parties nominations. "Nobody cares about anything except Dean Gutter," he smirked, " Nobody has the balls to run against me." Stankley went on to pronounce that he would be carrying his baby with him throughout the  campaign since it is well known that humans are conditioned to love babies or else they would bash them against the wall if they cried one more time. "All the old people will forget about all the shit I've done and will just remember the cute baby," he chuckled. " It's how I plan on getting rid of the zoning codes." Stankey showed a box full of t-shirts with the baby's picture on them that he plans on handing out as "gifts" to voters. "Boob Cross and I are exactly alike," he chortled, "We both adore the Belly Air project, will force Phoenicia to get the sewer, will zone all of Rte. 28 commercial, are fat alcoholics, except Boob has no baby! Man, I love using my kids. Look how it worked last time."